The toggle for the host computer's perception speed had better resemble a 386SX-16 turbo button or I wouldn't even bother.

Ahh, damn. I was about to go find 10 cubic meters of obsidian and build myself a portal.

3 fist sized diamonds and 10m^3 of obsidian is cheaper than a plane ticket, and non-invasive.

Like how phobias are infinite in variety, rule34 is a recursive rule. The instant you think you'll completed it, someone will create porn of you completing your rule 34 collection.

Power beaming, like the satellite power station idea.
Too bad it will only work if your microwave is set to high and the door is left open.

How exactly can it be the manufacturer's fault that their product doesn't withstand energy bombardment from a technology that was unknown to them for the entire duration of the product's development?
That's like trying to blame medieval armorsmiths for not making chainmail protect against tasers.

I just got an update email, week of june 29th. It may be nearly half a year after I ordered, but damn it'll be cool to play with finally.

Spider-SpaceCore riding a chainsaw-arm t-rex into battle against a horde of flying laser-sharks. $9.99 DLC pack.

And after respawning you'll have to wade through the horde of "TheLustyArgonianMaid696969" knockoffs all dancing naked on the mailboxes in the starting city.

I'd consider that a sport if I was allowed to have away games with other players.

Trigger set to a stream of Speed over netflix.
"Pop quiz BART. There's a bomb on your subway. If I don't get to watch my movie it goes off. What are you gonna do?"