Comment Not the best article.. (Score 1) 323
but there are a few gems in it.
I kinda get what they are saying.
From own experience as parent with three kids:
child #1: no disciplinary method ever worked effectively, period (spanks, timeouts, taking objects or privileges away, etc). Currently this child has severe entitlement issues and feels nothing is her fault. She passes the psychopath test with flying colors. at 16, she's in psychiatric care after professing suicidal ideation and superficial attempts.
child #2. A thoughtful, empathetic and generous girl of 9 who sometimes floods emotionally and has big tantrums. She clearly has suffered from abuse from child #1. When she has tantrums, its like her neural pathways become scrambled and the only way to bring her back to rational behavior is with a quick spank, which seems to "reset" her system. After which she is rational, remorseful and loving again. Timeouts and take aways generally work.
child #3. a big hearted loving boy at 7 years old who is very physical and intense but also cerebral. Spanking does not work, simply sending him into an animal like rage as depicted in the article with hissing, biting, etc. The only way to snap him out of his tantrums is to get him to think about the puzzling nature of things at which point his higher level reasoning takes over from his reptilian brain.
All three children completely different. all of them super inteligent. all of them with ideas about how to fix things, inventing, or helping society.
Anecdotally alone, I would say spanking generally does not work as a discipline method, but can be helpful as a pysiological tool. Its all about teachable moments and above all repetition! Reinforce the neural pathways with the positive influence you want, over and over until it sticks.
For instance, the bedtime. You dont coddle them all night long but you dont just ignore the crying either... you just keep putting them back to bed. they know they arent abandoned, but at the same time they know (eventually) they arent going to "win". Its a lot more work. With a baby you make contact but then put him down. With an older child, you can rationalize a bit.