Integrity.

Competence.

Confidence.

Compassion.

Humility.

Discuss.

DG

1. What is your occupation?

Battle Captain for D Sqn, Windsor Regiment.

Also: I shovel coal into computers.

2. What color are you socks right now?

White with (dyed) grey soles.

3. What are you listening to right now?

A case fan, and my clicking keyboard.

4. What was the last thing that you ate?

Teriaki chicken.

5. Can you drive a stick shift?

Heel-and-toe, biatches. http://farnorthracing.com

6. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

Olive drab.

7. Last person you spoke to on the phone?

Niner Domestic; She Who Must Be Obeyed.

9. How old are you today?

36.

10. Favorite drinks?

Ameretto and Ginger, or a good single malt.

11. What is your favorite sport to watch?

Formula 1 with Villeneuve in the field, or hockey with the Canucks, or (God help me) curling.

12. Have you ever dyed your hair?

Yup. I was blonde for a while. It passed.

13. Pets?

A cat.

14. Favorite food?

Vito's Grosse Poutine avec Viande, in St-Jean, PQ, or a 1/2lb Greco donair with the works, Charlottetown, PEI

15. What was the last movie you watched?

Some weird CGI-SF thing on TV, Snakes on a Plane in the theatre.

16. Favorite holiday?

Festivus. St Paddie's Day is good too.

17. What do you do to vent anger?

Abuse the troop leaders.

18. What were your favorite toys as a kid?

Army men.

19. What is your favorite: fall or spring?

Spring.

20. Hugs or kisses?

Nekkid.

21. Cherry or blueberry?

There's this great blueberry patch in the eastern part of the Gagetown training area....

25. Living arrangements?

Recently bought a house.

26. When was the last time you cried?

I honestly can't remember. Not in the job description.

27. What is on the floor of your closet?

Niner's shoes.

29. What did you do last night?

Attended a dinner for the executive members of the Windsor Regiment Regimental Association.

DG

I've pretty much decided that I'm never going to go racing again; too expensive, too much work for too little payoff, too many haters and their negative waves.

But in my eight years of top-level autocrossing, I learned a whole lot about the sport; knowledge that is safely locked up inside my brain.

Information wants to be free, right? Time to unlock it.

Over the next few months, I'm going to reveal every single secret I ever had; every last one. Enjoy!

DG

As detailed earlier, we bought our first house, and I am dealing with all the trials and tribulations of being a new homeowner.

Firstly, I'm astounded how we can move out of a 2-bedroom apartment into a full-on house, with 2-car garage, and yet somehow we don't seem to have enough room to put everything. I mean, what the hell - was the apartment some sort of space warp?

Unpacking and putting things away threatens to last well into 2008 at the current rate.

Secondly, we got the race car moved to the new place, but it had to be winched out of the underground parking and flatbedded over because the motor seized up and it wouldn't start. That's what I get for not starting it periodically I guess - although how leaving a car alone for a year results in it locking up is beyong me to understand. At least now I have room to pull the motor out and rebuild it.

My pro racing days may be gone, but I'm thinking it might make a good occasional drag racer....

Thirdly, the house has a nice in-ground pool, roughly 35" x 20" and 5" deep, that is great for lapping. I've been getting in roughly 5 swims a week, and I ramp up the distance I cover each session. I'm up to 18 there-and-backs, and it meakes for great exercise - I get a workout without getting all nasty, and it's low-impact so I don't get hurt. I've also discovered that I have a suprising tolerance for cold water, as long as I keep moving; I've swam in the pool with it as cold as 64F and I'm OK.

It has a natural gas heater, 250,000 BTU, but that much volume of water heats slowly, and much depends on the environmental conditions as fars as rate of temperature increase goes. I'm working on setting up a weather station (with a floating temp sensor) to log the pool environment, and see if I can't come up with some way to predict rate of temperature increase programmatically. Automate that into the pool heater control with Mr House, and I should be able to arrange to have the pool temp at any desired time automated.

The pool takes a suprising amount of maintainence. It's just a big tank of water, with a circulating pump consisting of the inlet, pump, filter, chlorinator, heater, and outlets, so you'd think it'd be maintainance-light, but it has to be swept every day, vaccumed every couple of days, the skimmer strainer has to be emptied twice daily (it gets full of leaves, snails, worms, milipedes, spiders, crickets, slugs, and the occasional mouse)... it's not a huge volume of work, but it needs daily attention.

Water chemistry also proves to be a constant challenge. According to the test strips, I'm high on chlorine, total alkilinity, and PH, but nothing I do can change it. I've dropped in close to 15kg of PH- and, although the water got noticeably clearer, PH and alkalinity never budged. I started doubting the test strips (especially when normal tap water tested as no chlorine, high alkilinity, high PH) but a test with vinegar reacted as expected.. so I dunno.

But late-night swims in your own pool sure 'nuff makes up for it....

DG

Saw "Clerks II".

Laughed my ass off.

Go see.

DG

Niner finally talked me into it. We made an offer on Friday and it was accepted Saturday, I guess we bought a house.

Little 3-bedroom, two-bath ranch. Finished basement. 2.5 car garage so new the pad doesn't even have oil stains on it. Fully landscaped back yard. Inground pool. Corner lot near the expressway so my commute isn't too badly extended.

Owner wanted $179,900. We offered $175,000 plus we keep all appliances, and the owner accepted.

We move in mid Sept, and now I have a ton of stuff to do.

DG

Ever since we stopped racing, we stopped travelling all over North America to attend races. Niner has been going through serious travel withdrawl, and she finally snapped - she bought us tickets to Ottawa, so we could spend Canada Day in the nation's capital.

We caught the train from Windsor to Toronto, and from there to Ottawa. Left Windsor at 0600, had a 2-hour layover in TO, and made Ottawa by 1630. Time enough to hit the Canadian War Museum until it closed, and then head up to the Hill for the concert and the fireworks.

I've passed through Ottawa a few times, but never stopped to look around. It's a lot nicer than I expected; very clean. After the fireworks, the entire downtown core was covered in the usual post-party detritus, but at 0700 the next morning, everything had been cleaned up. Wow.

The CWM was really very cool; particularly the huge garage full of vehicles - although it was a little sad to see how many of them were in service during my tenure. It's weird to see the stuff you used on a daily basis sitting in a museum; and some of it (like the Leo 1C2) isn't really all that old.

Got my picture taken in front of a Grant tank too. :D

So as we're looking at all the various vehicles, I'm giving my usual running commentary/lecture to Niner. I'm an AFV recognition geek; it's part of my job, and I'm chock-a-block with UFI about armoured vehicles. Pretty soon, we've got an entourage of people listening in and asking questions.

Standing in front of a T34-85 (the upgunned Russian tank that won the tank war on the Eastern Front) I'm pointing out the rough-cast nature of the hull and turret (they were cranking those puppies out so fast there was no time for nicieties like fit and finish) and Joe Random Civillian asks me "So, where would you put the grenade to blow one of these up?"

Stopped me cold. Here we are, standing in front of 30 tons of killing machine, and buddy wants to know where to put the *grenade*?

"Uh, well, a grenade wouldn't do much against this. In combat, all the hatches would be locked down - see the latches here? - and there's no way to get one inside. If you don't have any specialized anti-tank weapons, you're pretty much out of luck. You might try sticking one in the suspension, maybe blow a track off, but that's a low percentage option - your best bet is to run away. There's a reason why we call the infantry "crunchies" y'know"

At that last, he shot me a look of pure horror... dude, it's the *WAR* museum! It ain't a tractor!

I wonder if there's any money in being a private tour guide....

Anyway, big thumbs up for the war museum.

Up to the Hill, we caught the last half-hour of the concert, then watched the fireworks. Is there anything quite as cool as singing "O, Canada" with ten thousand people on the front lawn of Parliment? And props to the guys pulling the trigger on the fireworks - they timed it so the very second the song ended, the first firework exploded. Well done!

The next morning, we walked back to the Hill, and wandered the grounds, then watched the GGFG and the CG do the changing of the guard, which is one of those "better you than me" moments. I've done enough ceremonial parades in scarlets for one lifetime, thanks.

And then we caught the train for home.

Train geek moment, courtesy of my GPS - a Via train has a top speed of 160 km/h.

All in all, a great weekend.

DG

Back from AOC, two weeks of staffwork hell.

1. 0800 hrs to midnight every day:
              a. memos;
              b. messages;
              c. NPF audits;
              d. unit training plans;
              e. tactical and non-tactical exercise instructions;
              f. road move orders;
              g. PERs/PDRs;
              h. ethics; and
              i. military law.

And much more besides.

Imagine doing an MBA with three months of home study and two weeks of non-stop instruction, and you've got the concept.

But now it is done. Finished. Finito. And Yours Truly placed second out of 16 students, which is not bad all around.

Now I is a fully-qualified Staff Weenie... which is nothing to be proud of (I vastly prefer command positions) but at least that ticket is punched and I'm qualified Captain.

Wheee!

DG

Almost there.....

I've been working on the home study portion of my Army Operation Course for the past three months - it's the Junior Staff Officer course. Imagine doing an MBA in three months and you've got a pretty good idea of what I've been going through. Four papers, 44 pages of "answer the questions", and an online PO check.

All I have left to do is the "Chair a Meeting" EO check, and then do the readings and the online PO check for the Finance module, and all the home study is DONE DONE DONE. Then it's just two weeks in residence at Meaford and I'm ALL FINISHED.

Principles of Military Writing, Military Ethics, Principles of the Military Training System, Assess Subordinates, Conflict Resolution and Resolution of Grievances, Unit Finance.... does ANY of this sound like fun?

It isn't. Death By Semicolon.

Bleah.

I've been resisting taking this course for years, because once you have it, you can be promoted into staff positions. Lacking it, you have to stay as a Troop Leader, which is a Command position. But... well... we've got some good young Lts coming up who will need troops to lead, and if I'm squatting on one like a big ol' spider then they lose out. I've had a good run as a Troop Leader, but it's time to move up, and that means spending some time in Staff Hell before I can take command of the Squadron.

I've got one more big exercise as a Troop Leader, and then I'll have to turn over my Troop.

*sigh*

Anyway, time to focus on the good stuff - almost done AOC!

DG

Now that it is the day after, I am undeniably 36. During the day itself, it's tough to tell when you have actually crossed the line; not knowing the time of day when I was born, and the time difference from across the country and all. Schrodinger's Birthday: one may be 35, or 36, and one never really knows until the day after.

But now, as stated, it is the day after, and all uncertainty has been removed. J'avais trente-six ans, et il n'est rien a faire.

Halfway through my 30s, with 40 coming up fast, fast, fast. Where does the time go?

Niner Domestic took me out for a good meal, at the new Keg in the ground floor of the new DaimlerChrysler Canada headquarters building. Great view of the Detroit skyline. I had the first martini I've had since... oh, maybe my 21st birthday, and yup, they still taste like paint thinner.

The big suprise yesterday was StalinsNotDead giving me a /. subscription to try and cheer me up. Huge suprise. Random acts of kindness are rare and precious, and it's nice to be on the receiving end. Truly appreciated, and a reaffirmation that the species isn't all bad.

It's funny, when I look back at my life so far... there's a lot there. There's stuff there that seems almost too incredible to be real; stuff that if I told it, nobody would believe me. And there's just as many (if not more) stupid, banal, embarassing mistakes and fuck-ups, lost opportunities, and wasted chances.

Just like everyone else, I suppose.

I wish I could go back in time and get a do-over. I wish I could correct those mistakes, sieze those opportunities, make better choices. Although... even with all this supposed wisdom, I still manage to royally cock things up every once and a while, so maybe nothing would really ever change.

But my 36 year old self has a lot less time to spend than my 26 year old self or my 16 year old self. It is becoming more and more obvious that time is slipping away, and I still haven't accomplished enough yet.

I don't want to spend the rest of my life a wage slave.

I want to do better than I have - not financially; money turns out to be profoundly unimportant in the greater scheme of things.

I want to make a difference.

This is starting to wax rather maudlin; things are not all that bad. I'm married to the greatest woman in the world - my best friend, my buddy. Marrying her was the smartest thing I ever did, and I regret nothing where she is concerned. I'm healthy - a little heavier than I should be, but healthy enough. I'm paid well. I'm not, no matter what this may sound like, feeling *sorry* for myself.

But I'm not making a difference either, and that has to change.

DG
 

36 today.

*sigh*

DG

So the latest thing to burn time - when I'm not working at my day job, or running the DP1 course at the regiment, or looking after my troop at the regiment, or working on my Army Operations Course homework (staffwork, yeehah) or going on exercise, this THIS

Yeah, it's $125, but it's a full gunnery/driving/commanding simulator for a whole bunch of armoured fighting vehicles, using the actual fire control systems. Works just like the real thing, but with less smoke and fumes, diesel in your coffee, and track maintainence.

Tons of fun if your tastes run to blowing shit up.

GUNNER! TANK LASE ON! ON! FIRE! FIRING NOW! TARGET STOP!

DG

Answering a question posed by Ethelred:

There's a wonderful analogy used by Col Dave Grossman in "On Combat" that I really think captures it well. It might seem a little trite, even twee, but we're talking about archetypes here and it's hard to maintain one's sense of cool irony in such cases.

There are three basic types of people:

Most people, by far the largest proportion, are "sheep". Not "sheep" in the "sheeple" sense (stupid, ignorant, easily led by their intellectual superiors) but "sheep" in the sense of "utterly incapable of causing harm to each other except by accident and misadventure" (and to be meta for a second, in the sense of "making the rest of the analogy work")

By far the majority of humanity will go through their lives without ever inflicting any act of interpersonal violence on any other human being - or being victim of same. Most of the violence they ever witness will be false, stylized violence in the form of a TV show, movie, video game, or sporting event. When a person fromthis category encounters REAL, no-foolin', somebody got hurt violence, it is deeply traumatic and upsetting, because it is completely outside their experience.

Most of humanity is intrinsically good, gentle, kind, and HARMLESS. They may bitch, whine, and complain; they may be mean, spiteful, unfeeling, and cold, but these are mental and emotional charasteristics, not physical. When it comes right down to it, most people don't every really hurt one another. Think of two bighorn sheep butting heads and battering each other - yes, they are fighting, but it's all sound and fury and neither one ever gets hurt.

Then there are wolves. Wolves prey on sheep, and they do so without mercy. Wolves cannot be swayed with appeals to decency or humanity. Wolves kill sheep. Wolves torture sheep. Wolves view sheep as playthings, subhuman, and ultimately, irrelevant - except as food.

Wolves are, thankfully, rare. But they are dangerous well out of proportion to their numbers because sheep don't do violence and so can't mount any sort of effective defence.

Finally, there are sheepdogs. Sheepdogs fight wolves to protect sheep.

Here's an unpleasent reality - the sheep don't much like the sheepdogs. From a distance, a wolf and a sheepdog look much alike, and it can be hard sometimes to tell the difference between them. And like the wolf, the sheepdog works in violence (and some like it!) and violence is baaaad, m'kay? The sheep would much rather all that nasty messy violence stuff go away.

Until the wolves show up - then, the sheep all line up behind the nearest sheepdog.

Col. Grossman is not the first person to make this observation: http://www.web-books.com/Classics/Poetry/Anthology/Kipling/Tommy.htm

I'm a sheepdog. I don't know if I'm a very good one..... but in my heart of hearts, I'm a sheepdog. I've been denying it for some time; I tried really hard to grow soft and fuzzy and eat grass and go "baaaaaa"..... but my sheepdog nature kept rebelling and resurfacing, and I can't fight it any longer. Certainly I'm much happier as a sheepdog.

Civillian life.... the corporate world is utterly lacking in discipline, honour, integrity, loyalty, and courage. I have a very hard time understanding why it is I or anybody else should burn our lives away slaving 8-5 so that somebody else can get stinking rich, and they can turn on you on a heartbeat and kick you out the door... but that's the kind of society all y'all have built. My job is to try and make sure you have the freedom to do it, by keeping the wolves away.

I honestly can't say that I've accomplished much in that direction. I honestly can't say that I have stopped or deterred so much as a single wolf, which I suppose makes me a pretty shitty sheepdog. But I intend to keep trying, and maybe someday I'll get my chance.

DG

So that experiment seems to have dried up... what did everyone think?

DG

So in the spirit of Salon's "Ask the Pilot" column, let's try my own version and see how that goes.

Soldier. Questions. Ask.

DG