You do realize that gender reassignment surgery only modifies the body, not the brain, right?
I assume you do, but it's also the best *proof* we have that yes, they are really actually different (on average) in ways other than physical: there are a good handful of studies of individuals which, either due to mutation or botched surgery as infants or both, were born as one gender but raised from infancy as the other. Despite being treated by everyone as the gender they appeared to be, they all invariably acted as you would expect of the gender they were born as, and all announced (sometimes as early as 5 years old) that they felt they were that gender.
Obviously, yes, gender roles are both partially socially constructed, and the parts that aren't, are only true on average, not across the board. Just because more guys are natively interested in programming for its own sake than girls, doesn't mean there aren't still plenty of girls who are also natively interested in programming.
So I do completely agree, we do need to stop feeling like we *have* to have full equality of everything. What we need is a world where a female can feel like yes, if she finds programming interesting, she can totally major in it and get a job in it. If she doesn't find programming interesting and would rather do something "traditional" like go into design or whatever, she should also totally be able to do that, too, without anyone eye-rolling or complaining about it. If that means the IT workforce is still going to be 70% male? Fine, that's not our fault. (As long as we aren't *discouraging* women from joining it who would have wanted to. (Or, obviously, actively preventing them from joining it, which I understand is still at least *occasionally* an issue, usually in the guise of "fitting in", which is BS.))