I had the most intense pain I have ever felt in my life. It started this last night and this morning, then went away. This afternoon around 5pm it came back with a vengeance. OMFG it hurt!!!

Spent the evening in the ER. Waited an hour to get seen, then as soon as IV with the morphine went in all the pain went away.

Ahhh...morphine

Dr. says I have a kidney stone, says it will pass in the next 24-48 hrs. I have percocet for tonight so I can get some sleep. No work until Wednesday, so I guess Xmas vacation is extended.

Went to a place called Christmas Village. Proclaimed to be The Greatest Christmas Display in the U.S.A..

Anyway, took the new GF and Emily there last night. Emily seemed to get along well with her (she was a teacher at a nursery school for a few years).

Took about 30 minutes to get there and Emily fell asleep in the car. I thought we would have a major disappointment on our hands. After I got her out of the car I gently tried to wake her. I could tell she was getting mad, then her eyes opened a little and she saw all of the lights (this place is the biggest collection of Christmas lights I have ever seen). Boom, it was like I flipped a switch, instantly she was awake and ready to run.

There are so many motion displays and houses with big windows and displays inside, she was totally amazed. A good time was had by all.

Merry Christmas y'all

So, the date I had two weeks ago went better than I thought. We have gotten together about 5 times since then. She's a very nice girl, close to my age. She has a good job and she seems to have her head on straight.

So anyway, this is the longest relationship since my wife and I split in Sept '02. A whole two weeks so far. I'm not sure how I feel for this girl. I'm just not feeling the head over heels, gotta be with her all the time, crazy, punched in the gut feeling.

Is it just me? I have been feeling a bit depressed since this whole thing went down with the ex-. I feel that what I've been feeling is totally justified considering my situation and nothing too serious. But I think I'm going to get some counseling for it in the new year.

Is it that I'm older and maybe a little wiser? Being cautious and not putting too much on the relationship, fearing that I'll just get hurt. Should I change my expectations? Maybe I don't get the same feelings at age 33 that I did at 24.

Or is it just that's she's not the right girl. What to do if that's the case? Should I keep it going for a while, enjoy myself and my time with her, see where it goes. Is that fair to her?

What to do, what to do?

the need for speed.

Our company just switched over from dual T1s to a T3 line.

Very nice. 129MB in 90 seconds.

I forgot to mention this one before. Every year my company helps put together the Norad Santa tracking site. The first few years we handled everything, hosting, content, bandwidth. When I first started here they were doing it over a single T1, on a dual PII 300MHz server. The webmaster at the time stayed all Christmas eve to keep the server running.

Officially the site belongs to Norad, and they supply the audio content. Over the years we found other people to handle bandwidth and servers. The last two years it has been AOL. The site will get something like 200 million hits.

This year they have Ringo Starr as an honorary Santa tracker. Unfortunately to see the live content you need to have Real Player, but there is some content for WMP and QT.

Here is the site. Noradsanta.org

Askmen.com has released the top 10 guy movies of Christmas

Top 10: Christmas Movies For Guys

Here is the text below, since they usually remove the whole article from their site quickly

Christmas is just around the corner. While this implies shopping, caroling and the inevitable display of good cheer, it also means the time is ripe to take in some Christmas movies.
Afraid already, aren't you? Rest assured, holiday films are not limited to classics like It's A Wonderful Life and Miracle on 34th Street. Find out which movies guys could actually enjoy watching during this festive season. The following flicks really do have some kind of connection with the holidays. Be sure to tell that to your woman next time she sticks White Christmas into the DVD player.

Number 10

Silent Night, Deadly Night
Uh, something's wrong, those aren't the right lyrics... That's because the 1984 film Silent Night, Deadly Night isn't your typical Christmas movie. After a young boy witnesses his parents being murdered by a psycho wearing a Santa suit, he's subjected to a strict upbringing in an orphanage.

As an adult, he gets a job at a department store but snaps when he's required to dress up as Santa Claus. Suddenly, he finds himself on a killing rampage, killing his way back to the orphanage. So perhaps this movie won't inspire you to trim the tree and go on a sleigh ride, but a movie that has spawned four sequels can't be all that bad.

Best line: "You see Santa Claus tonight you better run boy, you better run for ya life!"

Number 9

Trapped in Paradise
One year before Nicolas Cage hit the big time with his Oscar win and A-list status, Trapped in Paradise was released. In this 1994 film, Cage stars as Bill Firpo, a nice guy who gets sucked into helping his brothers (played by Dana Carvey and Jon Lovitz) rob a small-town bank during the holidays.

But the getaway is harder than expected when a snowstorm hits and everyone around them treats them nicer than they've ever been treated before. The Christmas spirit eventually melts their hearts and Bill even manages to find the love of his life. Not only is it great to see the nice guy get the girl, but such lovable losers are always good for a laugh.

Best line: "In the Firpo family, the man with half a brain is king!"

Number 8

Trading Places
Back in the day before your woman was addicted to TLC's Trading Spaces, guys were laughing their butts off with the 1983 holiday classic, Trading Places. Two financial tycoons want to find out whether industrialists are born or made, so they pick up a homeless con artist, Eddie Murphy, and give him Dan Aykroyd's executive position within their company, stripping the latter of all his possessions.

The result is two fish out of water stories as Murphy and Aykroyd try to adjust to their new lives. Before long, however, both men join forces to expose the tycoons and their little game. Jamie Lee Curtis offers a fine dose of nudity and yuletide cheer as a prostitute trying to help them out. And Murphy sure knows how to throw a Christmas party!

Best line: "It seems to me that the best way to hurt rich people is by making them poor."

Number 7

Die Hard
Any guy who doesn't know about this 1988 movie doesn't deserve his manhood. Bruce Willis is John McClane, a hard-nosed NYPD detective stuck in a Los Angeles skyscraper for a Christmas party at his estranged wife's company. Bad guys take over the building and a barefoot Bruce is left alone to save the day.

Okay, so this movie isn't really about eggnog and chestnuts, but a lot of stuff ends up roasting on an open fire. Talk about unlucky, John McClane goes through a similar ordeal the next year in the sequel Die Hard 2, where Christmas Eve is spent at a D.C. airport.

Best line: "Man, if this is their idea of Christmas, I gotta be here for New Year's."

Number 6

The Nightmare Before Christmas
Filmgoers can always trust the twisted mind of Tim Burton for original stories. He surpassed himself in 1993 with The Nightmare Before Christmas, an animated musical/horror/comedy about Jack Skellington, the ruler of Halloween Town, who stumbles across Christmas Town when he becomes bored of the same old Halloween routine.

Skellington realizes that Halloween needs a little Christmas-like injection. To achieve this goal, he even kidnaps Santa Claus and attempts to take over for him. As you can see, it's not your usual holiday movie. Those who enjoy poking fun at traditions and like their jokes on the dark side will be amazed by this Tim Burton effort.

Best line: "Attacked by Christmas toys. That's strange, that's the second toy complaint we've had."

Number 5

The Family Man
Picture this: you have a Manhattan penthouse, a Ferrari at the door, hot women at your beck and call, and you're the number two guy at a multinational corporation. This is what Jack Campbell's (played by Nicolas Cage) life is like in the 2000 film, The Family Man. But then something freaky happens after an encounter with a street thug...

The next thing he knows he wakes up in the suburbs, married to his college sweetheart, Kate (Tea Leoni). It's Christmas Eve and he's now a father who works as a tire salesman. Although it's a modern take on It's A Wonderful Life, most guys can surely relate to the "what if life were different?" question. Of course, what seems like a nightmare at first becomes a lesson: being a Wall Street hotshot cannot replace family and love (cue the violins...) And there's nothing funnier than watching a dude change diapers for the first time.

Best line: "Because you thought I was cocky, I'm now on a permanent acid trip?"

Number 4

Scrooged
One of the greatest writers of the 19th century, Charles Dickens wrote the seminal Christmas story with A Christmas Carol. In 1988, Bill Murray starred in its goofiest version: Scrooged. The hilarious actor stars as a cynical TV executive who doesn't care about Christmas.

As a result, he meets ghosts who take him on a nostalgic New York City tour where Murray is able to confront his demons, reforming him into a nice guy in the end. Watching Bill Murray spreading Christmas cheer more than makes up for the sappiness.

Best line: "No, you are a hallucination, brought on by alcohol! Russian Vodka, poisoned by Chernobyl!"

Number 3

Bad Santa
Here's one for guys everywhere. In the most recent film on the list, Billy Bob Thornton stars as Willie, an alcoholic thief who along with Marcus, his dwarf partner (Tony Cox), rips off shopping malls. Their M.O. is to work as "Santa and his elf" so they can walk around the premises without arousing suspicion. But their perfect plan is foiled one year by an 8-year-old dweeb who leeches on to Willie.

This is one of the most hilarious movies of 2003 because it pulls no punches. There's no redemption for the nasty and suicidal Willie and this dark comedy isn't afraid of offending viewers. What other movie is going to feature a woman with a Santa Claus fetish?

Best line: "I slept with a woman who was unclean and got sick. All my hair fell out, so I had to get this fake beard."
-When asked what happened to his beard.

Number 2

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation
Ah, you've got to love the Griswolds, the Chicago clan under the leadership of Clark (Chevy Chase): a nice guy who wants to do the right thing but always tries too hard. You loved them on their road trip across America but this time, the fun occurs when the Griswolds decide to stay home for Christmas.

The screwball 1989 slapstick is back with a vengeance when the family installs Christmas lights, goes shopping, and invites relatives over for the holidays. Unfortunately, cousin Eddie (Randy Quaid) arrives uninvited and his primitive manners turn the Griswolds' dream holiday into a virtual nightmare. And I'm not even mentioning the missing Christmas bonus.

Best line: "Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no! We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here! We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny f*cking Kaye! And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse!"

Number 1

The Ref
Here it is folks, the mother of all Christmas movies. Released in 1994, The Ref focuses on hapless cat burglar Denis Leary who's abandoned by his partner during a Christmastime robbery and forced to hold an affluent Connecticut family hostage.

The problem is that this couple -- played by Kevin Spacey and Judy Davis -- fight so much that Leary becomes more of a referee than a hostage taker. When their blackmailing son and in-laws drop in, the situation is more than Leary can handle. The way these actors deliver the verbal jousting makes this film one jolly ol' time.

Best line: "You know what I'm going to get you next Christmas, Mom? A big wooden cross, so that every time you feel unappreciated for your sacrifices, you can climb on up and nail yourself to it."

happy viewing

You may have noticed that some of these films don't necessarily focus on Christmas or its themes, but we're all entitled to a little leeway. Besides, isn't Christmas about being merry?

Check the birthdate

Thanks FARK for making me feel young today.

Part of that whole "Doing no actual work today" thing.

Yesterday I went to NYC with my family and we saw the Radio City Music Hall Christmas show. It was a great show, full orchestra, they had a 3D movie to open the show. It has Santa zooming through the streets of New York to get to the show. The show was cool, and of course the Rockettes were gorgeous. In the end they had a great living Nativity scene.

Trying for that whole Christmas spirit thing. Watched most of the Christmas classic "DieHard" the other night. Yippee-ki-yay! Also watched "A Christmas Story", very funny movie.

The date I had last weekend might not have been the dismal failure I thought it was. I talked to a mutual friend the other day about it. He said she was tired but she did enjoy the date. So, we went out Wednesday night (dating is hard when you have a kid, even just 50% of the time). Saw "Elf" and walked the mall. I had a great evening. Sunday we're going to see a minor league hockey game. It is actually going to a third date.

Tomorrow is my work Christmas party. I'm going solo. If I had met her about 2 weeks earlier I might have asked her, but it is just a little too late now. I didn't go last year because I really didn't feel like going solo and answering questions. Now its pretty much common knowledge and most of the pain is gone.

My work throws a really good party at a fancy hotel in Philly, the whole 9 yards. Biggest drawbacks are, I have to wear a suit and I really dread driving in Philly.

Having a blah day today and I don't know why, just woke up that way. Seeing if I can get by with doing no actual work today, except for maybe swapping a tape. My work is having a little holiday thing for the kids today and my mom is bringing Emily in so that should cheer me up.

So, I'm having a hard time getting in the holiday spirit. Being single around the holidays really sucks. Normally holiday spirit wouldn't be a problem and I wouldn't really care, but now I have an almost 3 year old little girl. Of course Christmas is a big thing to her.

Last night I watched "It's a Wonderful Life". That's one I watch every year. I think I'm going to put up the tree tonight. Any suggestions on other good movies to watch while doing that?

Went out deer hunting Monday and Tuesday. Saw a lot of deer on Monday. I was waiting on taking a deer but I finally had a doe walk right towards me around 10 am. I waited until she got about 50 yards from me and lined up a perfect shot to the center of the chest. That Winchester can sure shoot, it dropped the deer immediately.

Yes, I killed Bambi, I am that evil hunter.

My dad skinned it and he is going to butcher most of it today. That's not a job I would want, pretty nasty stuff taking a sawsall to the carcass of a deer.

Saw two bucks, but they weren't big enough to be legal. Tuesday I saw one doe all day, pretty boring day. The farmer who owns the land we were on is waiting for a 14 pointer that he saw in the fall.

It wasn't too bad on Monday, but it was really cold, windy, and snowy on Tuesday. Those self heating packs saved my fingers and toes on Tuesday.

It was nice to get away from everything for a few days, just me and my rifle out in the middle of nowhere. I got a new GPS, didn't need it were we were since there were a lot of trails. The GPS is a Magellan with built in maps and a serial connection to dump more maps to it. I want to take it out geocaching next year.

The new version of Battlestar Galactica is coming soon, I'm looking forward to it. I just watched the SciFi channel preview on it. It looks pretty decent. It looks like they kept to overall theme of the story and they kept the vipers but a lot of the details are changed. The cylons will look like humans. It has a kind of gritty look to it.

It just showed up on my Tivo guide the other day and I set it to record. I remember my mom making me get my homework done on a Sunday night before I could watch it.

I don't really care about keeping it true to the original. The Glen Larson version was cool enough for its time, but also was ABC's way of riding the Star Wars wave and way too campy.

I'm trying to get a +5 troll for gmhowell. ceejayoz gave it a troll and I just gave it an underrated.

If you have mod points please throw an underrated at this comment. The underrated should leave the troll label intact.

This should help him get his holy grail.

a girl called Party

The ex- has me a little frustrated right now. She insisted that she would pick up Emily tonight, so I got Emily all excited telling her Mommy would be here soon. She calls me 10 minutes before we are supposed to meet and says "I have a migraine". Bullshit, we were together 7 years, I can read her like a book. She's out. She has a new boyfriend, and I'm happy for her.

Seriously, my feelings for her have been dried up for months. I consider myself a good judge of character and the new BF seems like a decent guy. She has had him in the car the last couple of times we met to get Emily. I hope she stays with him, really, because she's the worst judge of character I have ever met.

What pisses me off is leaving Emily up in the air, I told the ex- months ago that I would be in that wedding last weekend. What happens at the last minute, "Oh, can your mother watch her"? No reason given, so my mom gets her the whole weekend. On the way home from the rehearsal dinner (at 11pm Friday) her car is in front of a bar. The next day imagine what, it's midnight and her car is at the same bar.

Get your fucking priorities straight, please. On second thought, don't, but get the fuck out of my way. Just let me have her full time, I'll still pay your support money so you can pay your rent. Then no more dissapointing her. I have the resources, I own my own house, I have a good job with a flexible schedule. I have a mother that isn't totally dysfunctional and obsessive compulsive (like hers) who doesn't work and can help me out whenever anything comes up. Not that I want my mother raising her, but having a backup person is great.

Tomorrow night we had planned that the ex- would get Emily, guess what.

To finish Bono's earlier thought:
I know a girl, a girl called Party
Party girl
I know she wants more than a party
Party girl
And she won't tell me her name
Oh no, not me

I know a boy, a boy called Trash
Trash Can
I know he does all that he can
Wham Bam
And she won't tell me his name
Oh no, not me

(Guitar hero?)

When I was three, I thought the world revolved around me
I was wrong
And so I sing along
And if you dance, then dance with me

I know a girl, a girl called Party
Party girl
I know she wants more than a party
Party girl
I know a boy, a boy called Trampoline
You know what I mean

I think I know what he wants
I think I know what he wants
I think I know what you want
I think I know what you want
I think I know what you want
I think I know what you want
I think I know what he wants

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Usually priced much higher in stores, but for you my dear friends, for the next 3 days only...the unbelievably low price of FREE.

If you act now I'll throw in my next journal entry at absolutely no cost to you.

Yesterday I was best man in a friend's wedding. This guy and I go back to about 4th grade when we played football together. The bride I didn't know very well, he introduced me at a wedding three years ago. At the time I was best man there also and preocupied and nervous at the prospect of giving my toast. I also had a very pregnant and uncomfortable wife at the time...so I didn't remember his fiance one bit. When asked to be in this wedding I tried to get together with them for dinner but distance and our schedules didn't allow it.

The bride and groom handled the whole thing themselves. They did a great job, the place looked great and the meal was excellent. The weather was great also, about 65 and sunny.

I was disappointed with the groom, back about 7 years ago when I had my wedding there were a lot of good looking single bridesmaids all around our age. In fact he got very drunk at my wedding and was making out on the dance floor with one of them all night. In front of both of my grandmothers no less. In this one the maid of honor was married and pretty large. The rest of the bridesmaids were family of the bride and young, hooking up with any of them would get me arrested in about 47 states (my cousin got sent away for 2 years for that, but I digress). Come on Mr. Groom man, you owe me one.

Anyway, I was very nervous about giving the toast. Also, being the just about divorced, quite jaded guy that I am right now, I had to give a toast wishing them a happy marriage. I mean come on, my recipe for a happy marriage...who'd want it? I only put one dig in there about marriage and it was a very slight one.

I had the toast memorized but had a printout also...good thing because get me in front of a group of more than about 15 or so and I go blank.

Here goes with the text of my toast:
Dear family and friends,

Today is a very special day in the lives of Annabelle and Todd and, of course, in mine. By asking me to be his best man Todd has shown that I am important to him and that he wants me to share in his joy. I am very happy to be part of this wonderful occasion.

I have the opportunity of telling you a little about the groom. I hope he's a little nervous at the prospect because I want to keep him on his toes....on second thought I think I will keep his secrets safe. I leave you to wonder about his past. That should provide some good dinner conversation for all of you. Let me just remind you Todd, marriage is not just a word but a sentence.

I am very happy that Todd has found a bride like Annabelle. Today he has eyes only for her and when you see how beautiful she looks you can understand why. I don't know Annabelle very well but from what I have seen she is a wonderful person, full of life and laughter. I think she will be just right for Todd.

Todd and Annabelle organized a wonderful wedding and a great day out for all of us. I know you will agree with me that we are delighted to be here today. This wedding is an occasion for us to show how much we care for the couple. And they will need all those good wishes in the years to come. Being human they will have their disagreements. Life being what it is there will be sad moments as well as glad. Yet I know that today we are all wishing them happiness and health in those years to come. We are wishing them all that is good in life and a love that will grow stronger with the passing years.

I am very happy though to perform one last duty and that is to toast the happy couple. I wish Annabelle and Todd a long and happy marriage. Ladies and gentlemen may Annabelle and Todd have a marriage that is as happy and joyful as this, their wedding day.

Please raise your glasses to The Bride and Groom!