Journal Journal: Thanksgiving TrollBack 8
It's November 27, 2002, and THIS is TROLLBACK.
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Bring on the tryptophan, kids, it's Thanksgiving! Time for all good Americans to crowd themselves onto buses, trains, freeways, and anything else that will make them easy targets for terrorist attacks in a mad, crazed rush to go somewhere and relax. With all the changes going on in Slashcode these days, it'd be easy to lose your head - some of Slashdot's three and four year old spelling errors and outstanding Tacoisms (like empty Parent links) have suddenly gone missing, leaving a lot of Cowboys ready to Call it a Night. But don't flip out and throw your baby in the street just yet, kids - we've brought the dressing for everybody's favorite dried out turkey
Format: (dreplies/treplies/moderations|voodoo)
(62/171/39|147) SlashChick reminds us how much fun Anne Marie was.
(28/183/16| 86) Owl reveals every/bot's inner riceboy.
(24/128/23| 77) SKO proves that The Truth is divinely contentious.
(39/ 81/13| 76) PS sniffs at the harsh reality of being a commie.
(29/158/ 6| 72) EPM demos a 1sentence flamewar for you newbies.
(37/ 64/13| 70) SKO tries to fly a P.C. kite in a stiff/bot breeze
(27/ 71/18| 64) an AC draws a wonderfully flawed "extreme syllogism".
(26/ 80/16| 63) PG Trolls with Linus Truth.../bots prove allergic.
(32/ 93/ 5| 62) Criteria for IBM's soul: The Rightmann Test./. fails.
(17/145/10| 59) Poor Tim gets enthusiastic about Windows.
(26/ 83/ 8| 55) tps12 gets under some Indie skin. Eminem wins.
(25/ 64/11| 53) Da Rev makes one of those posts that Ellen "doesn't read"
(23/ 63/12| 52) Eric invites/gamers to play Jingo.
(18/ 86/13| 51) GPS fights terror and saves the best for last.
(28/ 59/ 6| 51) Adam shows Sci-Fi fans their inner despair. Repent!
(17/ 24/25| 50) Stanley morphs his Transmeta post./bots divide by 0.
(21/ 57/ 8| 44) tps12 has been to the undisclosed Moose Lodge!
(15/ 47/17| 44) 'scout reminds Mac users that their empire is evil too.
(16/ 33/18| 43) PM: Linus is a stupid mangina at +5. Gold medal.
(21/ 67/ 4| 42)/.ess: Ask a stupid question, get 67 stupid answers.
(16/101/ 3| 42) atrowe knows you don't shave. admit it!
(16/ 75/ 8| 42) MV brings Truth in from "out there";/bots put it back
Editor's choice
The problem with scoring Trolls is that sometimes, even the losers are winners (you read Slashdot; we're sure your familiar with the concept). Just because a post doesn't have the world's highest Voodoo doesn't mean you can't get a laugh out of it. For this reason, the editorial staff here at the secret Trollback headquarters decided to pick a few more of the best and brightest, for obvious reasons:
- A bite from Bruce Perens... well done .
- Complete bullshit posted as AC, scored at +5 Informative. Wonderful.
- Hats off to you freaks for teaching the lameness filter a thing or two about being a Nazi.
- And how could we fail to mention a father teaching his son to steal. Priceless.
Scary, dirty Toys for Tots
A long time ago, the Trollback team made some heavy-handed accusations, claiming that Slashteam was mass-moderating posts by users they disliked. We were of course met with general disbelief until the Post of Doom, after which mass-moderation and Editor Modbombing made it into the Slashdot FAQ. We're still asserting that Slashbots and Linux users in general are dirty, unwashed pedophiles, but now we've got proof. Behold, ladies and gentlemen: lock up the kids and make sure they wash . Probably the best argument against Linux in the classroom... ever?
Would you like to play a game?
Just how important is it to get your friends list jacked up as high as possible? Well, to those who like to play Slashdot The Game, it's the New Karma. FortKnox has spent months rambling on in his journal about... stuff... in order to get as many fans as possible. In a few short days, ekrout has almost surpassed FortKnox with a grand total of 351 fans. How? The same way you get anything done on Slashdot: make it stupid and make it easy. See ekrout's signature for more info. If you're wondering how YOU can participate in this new penis length contest, we feel that it's only fair to provide everyone with a means of keeping score. So, released under the TPL, we present the Slashdot New Karma Tracker, a Shell(tm) script for keeping score. Please note that this script will only work on Lunix 8.0 certified systems:
wget --quiet -O- http://slashdot.org/~$1/fans -U "The Slashdot New Karma Tracker (tm)(r) TPL 1.0"| grep fans | grep "HREF=\"//slashdot" | wc | gawk '{printf("You have %s fans. PATHETIC.\n",$1)}'
Remember to put it in a file and put your account name in as a command line argument. And don't engage in scripted abuse or you'll get the Flaming Gay Pink Screen of Death.
Doing your duty
What is FatWallet? No, no, put that thing away... FatWallet is a message board where American Citizens post messages about where the best sale prices are. Cool idea, right? Well, perhaps, but only if you're trying to DESTROY CORPORATE AMERICA. FatWallet made Slashdot frontpage news for trying to exploit innocent corporations and getting busted by the DMCA. Fortunately, our agents were already working to stem the tide at FatWallet by:
- Hunting pedophiles
- Alerting thieves to their illegal activity long before the DMCA set things straight
- Making sure those who continued to steal knew their place
The Trollback team officially salutes everyone working at sites like FatWallet across the Internet to protect America.
The Trolls are out there
We'd like to take a moment - well, maybe just a sentence - to recognize the hard work of our brothers [wisc.edu] in arms [supernet.net].
Miscellanea
Have you ever seen this Secret Slashdot Design Document ? It's very (+1)Informative, and it makes a lot of CmdrTaco's design decisions a lot more transparent. We've been working hard to replace Jon Katz but as you can see in the feature request, nobody understands the perils of reading at Threshold -1. Now go buy a T-shirt
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That's all for this episode. As always, please send your suggestions and Nigerian hate mail porn to T r o l l b a c k 47 Zip Lip d07 Com.
