What actually stopped the H1N1 virus? Vaccines? Summer? I seriously don't remember them mentioning why it just sort of went away.

You're forgetting that anyone who gets it now is an idiot because they had direct contact with an infected person's bodily fluids. People who are idiots tend to accidentally kill themselves in a variety of ways so curing them from ebola wouldn't solve the problem. You'd need to cure them from being stupid and that hasn't been invented yet.

They should do that in America. DMV: now with arts and crafts! Cut out your own documents and licenses.

Seriously, that's all they're doing. Someone who wants to put on the opposite gender's clothing, make up a fake name, and act like a giant stereotype of that gender with a fake name and made up personality needs mental help, not bent Facebook rules. Did you know that every study ever has found that 80-90% of drag queen, transsexuals, etc were abused as children?

So in other words...aliens.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who realized the truth. If Africans would grow the fuck up and stop lying, cheating, and stealing from each other they'd have an actual society.

Ah, but you're forgetting...everyone on the plane is infected with being a fucking idiot for going to West Africa and then traveling.

And why the fuck did he touch the bodily fluids of someone who was infected?

If you know the exact methods with which Ebola spreads, you would know that it would never, ever spread in the US. We're too civilized and have too good of an infrastructure mixed with the people being too intelligent. It's practically an STD. All you need to do to not catch Ebola is not kiss or have sex or get blood on you from someone who's infected. That's it! Oh, and don't handle their bodies with your bare hands. Oh, and maybe don't break into a quarantine zone and fucking free all the damn infected people. There isn't a terribly long incubation period either for ebola. Ask any doctor about the golden rule. Not airborne, not a problem. If it can live on surfaces, places can close, people can wash their hands, and you can alcohol the hell out of everything everywhere constantly for cheap.
It's really a shame Nigeria wasn't wiped out though. Pirates and scammers and their corrupt governments would be wiped out and their society could start over without all those problems. 50 years later they'd have a better economy than the last 100 years.

Nobody has ever won a Michelin Star by lighting someone's mouth on fire so they can barely finish the dish. That is a fact.

There is no flavor of spicy. Your tongue can't sense spicy. It's just a chemical that makes your mouth feel like it's on fire. People who are stupid enough to keep eating peppers stop feeling it as much and then can sort of taste the actual flavor. Otherwise peppers actually cover up the flavor. So people who like their mouth to work properly, didn't nuke all their taste buds, and like their digestive system to work properly don't add peppers to their dish in the first place.

See what's happening here is your brain and your tongue are broken. Peppers developed a do-not-eat-me defense of making them burn your mouth so you wouldn't eat them. All animals including moderately intelligent apes stay away from peppers because of this but not you. You should have your brain checked out.

They're starting over from the drawing board to see how humans use computers? Are you fucking kidding me? Just design it so it doesn't suck. They could replace their AI system with 1 individual person who isn't an idiot. Ask any single computer user that works in IT if they should have removed the start menu and replaced it with a touch-friendly interface with no options. Ask anyone if they should have gotten rid of the red X to close that existed in Windows 3.1 through 7. Ask anyone if they even want to touch their PC (and don't ask stupid people). I could sit down and design an OS interface myself that would crush Windows 8 and I'm not a team of experts. They don't even need one!

Seriously, there is nobody watching the exit to see if people walk the wrong direction through it and they had to catch him on CCTV? Plus, shouldn't they be watching Apple fans for explosive outbursts and opinionated hate speech that makes them a danger to everyone around them? Because that's how they are everywhere else.

Maaaaaybe they themselves should switch to renewable energy sources, which after 7-10 years turns into a magic free money generator, and then individuals wouldn't all have to switch themselves.