If any of you in the zoo are also on livejournal, my more regularly updated journal lives there. El jay username is misfitsfan76, feel free to add me.

I always have tabs open to /. message center and my el jay... i am a journal junkie.

Awesome show.

Opening act Slunt was bad ass. A chick-fronted band from NYC, whose set included a remake of Never Say Never. Love that song, plus the two chicks in the band are fucking hott.

Next up -- Marilyn. His set bordered on religious for me. Screamed along with every song. Play a lot of my faves, although i would have loved to hear his version of Rock'n'roll Nigger and more from the first three albums. But i am not complaining.

Had a very good time... Free concert, free beer, free t-shirt. Nice.

x\\ spell your name backwards: nahtan
x\\ have you ever had a song written about you: Nope
x\\ what song makes you cry: "green eyes" by coldplay
x\\ what song makes you happy: "easy" by faith no more
x\\ what's your all time fav. song?: "Tea for one" by zeppelin
x\\ what do you listen to before you go to sleep: my cat purring
x\\ height: 5'7"
x\\ hair color: brown
x\\ piercings: none right now have had many
x\\ tattoos: 2 sleeves and 7 more

r i g h t _ n o w . . .
x\\ what color pants are you wearing: brown cords
x\\ what song are you listening to: "Spring cleaning" by BrightEyes (i am so emo... fucking shoot me now)
x\\ what taste is in your mouth?: tobacco.
x\\ whats the weather like?: like 48 degrees f. (very cold by El Paso standards)
x\\ how are you?: happy and still hating myself
x\\ get motion sickness?: nope
x\\ have a bad habit?: so many
x\\ get along with your parents?: yep
x\\ boyfriend/girlfriend: nope
x\\ have a current crush: a couple.
x\\ have a big regret: and shall until I die

f a v o u r i t e . . .
x\\ tv show: never watch TV
x\\ conditioner: equate brand pro vitamin
x\\ book: catcher in the rye
x\\ non alchohol drink: diet dr pepper
x\\ alchohol drink: ameretto straight up or a screw driver
x\\ things to do on the weekend: party, go on dates, cruise

h a v e _ you _ e v e r . . .
x\\ broken the law: yep
x\\ snuck out of the house: nah
x\\ ever gone skinny dipping: yep
x\\ made a prank phone call: many a time
x\\ tipped over a port-a-potty: nope
x\\ use your parents credit card: nope
x\\ skipped school: yep chronically
x\\ fell asleep in the shower/bath: yep
x\\ been in a school play: nope
x\\ had a boyfriend/girlfriend: yep a few
x\\ had children: nope
x\\ been in love: yep
x\\ have a hard time getting over someone: you have no idea
x\\ been hurt?: seriously no idea
x\\ gone out with someone you only knew for 3 days: yep (and several I knew for far less)

r a n d o m . . .
x\\ have a job: Yes
x\\ your cd player has what in it right now: soul coughing
x\\ if you were a crayon, what color would you be?: black
x\\ what makes you happy?: being touched
x\\ the next CD you're going to buy: i don't buy CDs

w h e n _ was _ t h e _ last _ t i m e . . .
x\\ you got a real letter: pshh years
x\\ got an email: right now
x\\ thing you purchased: carton of smokes
x\\ Tv program you watched: fuck too long to remember
x\\ movie you saw in the theaters: the grudge
x\\ kissed: last night
x\\ hugged: last night
x\\ song heard: right now
x\\ place you were [besides home]: work
x\\ phonecall: right now, a close friend
x\\ you were depressed: right now and always
x\\ you were in the hospital: last month (pancreatitus and enflamed liver)

w h a t _ comes _ t o _ mind . . .
x\\ car: speed
x\\ murder: death
x\\ cape: cloak
x\\ penis: fucking
x\\ cell: ameoba
x\\ shoe: licking
x\\ fun: fucking
x\\ crush: girl
x\\ music: constant background
x\\ chalk: pill

n u m b e r . . . :
x\\ of time you've been in love: 4
x\\ of girls you have kissed: so many
x\\ of boys you have kissed: a couple
x\\ of times your name has appeared in a newspaper: a couple
x\\ of scars on your body: so many
x\\ of things in your past you regret: i regret a few thing from 2004

d o _ you _ t h i n k _ you _ a r e . . . :
x\\ pretty: yep
x\\ funny: yep
x\\ hot: yep
x\\ friendly: can be
x\\ ugly: nope
x\\ loveable: yep
x\\ caring: yep
x\\ sweet: ab-so-fucking-lutely
x\\ dorky: can be

f a v o u r i t e . . . :
x\\ actor/actress: Edward Norton
x\\ least favorite day: Sunday
x\\ flower: Calla Lillie
x\\ jello flavor: cherry (better with everclear)
x\\ summer/winter: summer

p e r s o n _ who _ l a s t . . . :
x\\ slept in your bed: don't remember her name
x\\ saw you cry: my ex
x\\ sent you an email: fucking spammer

h a v e _ you _ e v e r
x\\ said i love you and meant it: yep. i do not fuck around with that word
x\\ went out in public in pjs: yep
x\\ kept a secret from everyone: yep
x\\ been to new york: yep
x\\ to california: nope

w h e n _ was :
x\\ last cigarrete: an hour ago
x\\ last cry: every night
x\\ last book read: Grimms Faerie Tales
x\\ last curse word uttered: fuck
x\\ last beverage drank: Dr Pepper
x\\ last food consumed: french toast sticks (burger king)
x\\ last phone call: 15 minutes ago
x\\ showered: 7 am
x\\ last shoes worn: cheesy brown loafers
x\\ last cd played: soul coughing
x\\ last thing written: meeting notes at work
x\\ last word spoken: chingow!
x\\ last sleep: before i woke at 7am
x\\ last im: 10 minutes ago
x\\ sexual fantasy: so many. girls: i will hurt ya, and you'll like it.
x\\ last ice cream eaten: rocky road
x\\ last time wanting to die: 2 days ago (last OD as well)

Saturday I spent 4 hours under the needle... Broke my no color rule. I am very happy with how my dragon is looking :-) I was born in the year of, so that is why I decided to sleeve my left arm with the mythical beast...

Take a look:

Pic One

Pic Two

Pic Three

Goddamn it's good to be back home! Just got out of the hospital...

Wednesday I went to my doc got 3 perscriptions, but later I got very sick... My buddy Al drove me to emergency at 3pm and when I got there I was yellow (skin and eyes). Turns out I had an inflamed liver and pacreatitis. So Wednesday to Monday morn sitting in a fucking hospital room. Not fun.

I can not drink any more. I should be like "big deal", but I am scared. What do I do on the weekend now? How do you hang out with no drink? Help me out here. I am single and all the places I think to meet people involve social drinking.

So suggestions??? Please :-)

EDIT:

Alright, to those that chimed in with appearances and virgin drinks -- yeah that's cool. Thing is I really like my alcohol. So this is something I will just have to do...

It is very suprising to me, but when the doc said no more drinking, I got scared! Not scared... panicy. I realized maybe I like drinking more than just a little. So now I have an iron clad reason not to -- I can die. Death by eith liver or pancreas trouble is a very bad, painfull way out. So I am gonna just stop.

I am not gonna fake a cocktail, cause that is not me. As all my friends and even periphrial acquantances will tell you, I will say what is on my mind 100% of the time. I will say anything to anyone and have pretty much no fear. So coke with ice it is.

But it will be a while until I will trust myself around a bar or club. I am thinking up things to keep me busy as I never stay home, I am always out.

So in closing: Punk Rock, baby, keep it real!

and although I do not like to admit it, I voted for Bush, changed my vote at the last minute... I feel kinda dirty :-P

So last Friday (10-15-2004) I started having this intense pain in my abdomine. Right about where my liver is. Advil wouldn't stop it, couldn't sleep through it. The weekend was hell. Worked from home on Monday. All that time I refused to go to a doctor. Just how I was raised.

On Tuesday I went to work at 4:30am because I knew that sleeping in my office chair was more comfy than my soft bed would be. Took a cat nap. Got up a little before 6am, got to working. By the time my boss got in a little after 8am, I had killed all my major obligations.

I told them I was going to see a doc. I had reached the end of my tollerance. I have already used my sick days completely up. So I was on to my last 2 vacation days and then on to Family Medical Leave Act time off...

So I get to the doc, I get x-ray'd, EKG'd, blood drawn, urin collected. "We just do not know what is wrong with you..." So they send me to get an ultrasound (ordered STAT), and tell me to return the next day. So it is now Wednesday.

I get to the doc and she says: "Well, you have gall stones, you need surgery, see this surgeon today at 1pm." I leave and goto the surgeon at 1pm. He diagnose me as being accute. He says he must opperate immediately. So I drive to the hospital by 1:45pm, they start an IV of antibiotics. At 5pm the anest^Wfeel-good doc comes and gets me. They wheel me into the OR. Then I wake up in my hospital room feeling high as a kite.

The first day I ask for demerol every 2 hours for the entire day. The second day I get told that my intestines are not functioning and the pain meds can be contributing to that. I can not leave until I can have bowel movements. So I stop taking pain meds. I realize I am sore but not in pain.

The second day no pain meds at all. My bowels start cooperating once again. I am walking and moving around just fine.

Today the doc was like, "you're going home..." So I signed the paperwork and drove myself home. I am gonna take it easy this weekend and will probably return to work on Monday.

Re - fucking - lax! Between the politics and the smoking rants some people just need to settle the fuck down. Let that which does not truly matter slide. Life is so much more enjoyable when you do not have to care so much about stupid shit.

Drink a beer, smoke a cig, and chill out.

I am gonna try and get off from work a little early, clean my cat's litter box, make a friend a copy of my house key, pack, then leave... I am driving to Phoenix. Then a group of us are driving to Baja California to hit the beach. I need the down time.

I love to drive so right now I am looking forward to the drive to Arizona. I used to make that drive every summer as a kid, my grandparents lived in Phoenix. This will also be the first time I have ever seen the Pacific ocean.

Wish me a good time. Maybe meet a nice girl, maybe meet some good business contacts, maybe just get drunk and have fun? In any case I am glad to not be home for 4 days... I am taking Friday and Monday off.

https://games.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=04/09/27/2044213&tid=209

okay so it prolly wasn't a front page story, I display all stories... see what happens when no one writes JEs?

Where to begin...

Well this weekend I got my entire left arm outlined. I already had a small skull on my forearm and a half sleeve on the upper part. I now have a star on my elbow and a large dragon filling up the rest, including the back of my arm up to the armpit. Prolly 3 more sessions to get the shading done.

Please do not beat me up now, those that can predict the following just skip to the ***

I spent the weekend with my ex. She came down with two of her girlfriends and her son. On Saturday they wanted to go out, I stayed home and babysat. Then yada yada yada... Today we went shopping, then to her mom's house, where she disapointed me in a way that she never had. The woman I loved truly is dead, this person I do not even know any more and she is a disapointment. I left the house and drove home alone.

***

In other news anyone know anyone in Phoenix (professionaly)? I am driving over there Oct 7 - 11. I am thinking of relocating. After 6 years at my job my boss (same one the whole time) has resigned. Maybe it is time to move on since it'll be like a new job anyway, and El Paso just does not pay.

TL's latest JE has got me curious... Where are we all located? I am in El Paso, Texas, to the right of Las Cruces, New Mexico, and atop ciudad Juarez, Chihuahua, Mexico.

Things appear to be looking up for me. On Friday, surfed Yahoo Personals, and found a cute girl who was online. So I IM her. We have a really good conversation, then we talk on the phone for a while, then I go to her house. We had a very good time. The next day went over again. Then the next day. I have met her family, her sisters, her parents, all the kids (including hers, she has two small daughters). I am really digging her.

The alarming thing to me is the lack of sex, and my feeling on that. I'm cool with it at this point, all good things in time. I am enjoying myself and not fighting or stressing feels so welcome. Having a conversation where it is okay to disagree and listen to another view, hearing a cute laugh when I try to be witty -- this is great.

Going to see her again today. Hopefully work is smooth and fast :-)

today i found something out from my ex that broke the camel's back -- no details to be posted here so do not even guess. So i am not talking to her anymore. I set up two dates for tonight (the internet is great) and will be out enjoying myself.

So it was a bad day for most of the day... Talked to her after work and she claims she canceled her date and was going to some party.

I was like fuck this I am not staying home while she hooks up at some party (although she does not hook up like a fiend, still). So I got on Yahoo! Personals, met and started talking to this cool girl at 8pm. At 11pm I was at her house. It was a lot of fun, we talked a lot, had some drinks, watched a few movies. A good date. I was home by 6:30.

When I get home there was a IM from *her* on the PC (she knew I was on a date because she called me at 2am) -- "Hows your date?" "That good huh?" "SIGNED OUT 6:15am"... So chances are she's still sleeping and I will not hear from her for a while.