Now in a self admitted state of grogginess you are expected to be able to operate a firearm with decent accuracy and efficiency that you are able to disable a fully alert assailant before they are able to react.
Maybe somepeople wake up groggy, lazily aiming for the alarm clock when it rings, then stumbling to the kitchen, turning on the coffee machine whilst your eyes are still glazed over... going on your Daily routine.
Would you be accurate with a firearm?
Maybe not.
But imagine that you have an important business meeting at 7:00 and your job depends on it. You wake up and are shocked as you see it's 6:45 and you know it takes you 10 minutes to get to work. Your heart beats at 150 bps, your adrenaline rises, you get dressed faster than ever before. You're decisive, do only what's necessary, and you have a far higher state of awareness than the day before.
Would you be accurate with a firearm?
That depends, some people are never accurate.
Myself?
Absolutely.
What kind of fantasy world do you live in?
Why do you think that the state of mind/accuracy that you have(or think most people have), applies to everyone?
With a regular firearm, in your scenario you are already screwed. An assailant will have attacked and disabled you long before you are able to grasp the firearm, let alone use it.
Again, you are making assumptions that while they may be applicable to some, will not be applicable to everyone.
Lets ignore the fact that at your state of grogginess in near darkness you aren't capable of telling the difference between an assailant and your own wife.
The assailant would be the one on the floor.
My wife would be the one holding the gun.