You know how I know you have never worked at a public school?

This happened in my company once. People kept replying to all, it was a clusterfuck and our company IT (in India, of course) couldn't figure out how to stop it.

So I set up an auto-reply mechanism that looked like it came from IT, it told anyone who replied "ALL" that they were now removed from all company mailing lists.
Of course everyone freaked out and emailed IT when they would get my notice. IT was pissed at me, but I stopped people from replying to ALL any more.

Ever been to Japan?

Most places, especially restaurants, don't take credit cards.

But many of the vending machines do take credit cards. It's a weird place.

I prefer to be tracked.

So if I ever DON'T want to be tracked, I just leave the phone at home and commit my crimes. Law enforcement is so lazy they won't even think about actual detective work any more, they just find out who's phone was in the area.

C-level motto: "Always have a patsy on hand."

I have had management try to make me into a patsy before. Always save your emails. Don't do anything unless you have it in writing.

"It took us a LOT of courage to remove the inferior 'Bluetooth' technology from the iPhone 9, but we did it, because we have courage.
Now you can connect with AppleTooth© technology! which is 15% faster than the original Bluetooth spec"

"AppleTooth headsets start at $379 for the base model."

I take it you have never worked with HCL.

We finally got rid of them at my company after the contract expired. Holy hell our IT went into the toilet when they were here.

To quote Bullwinkle J. Moose: "When it comes to humility, I'm the greatest!"

Yeah...who is Jones REALLY working for?

Wake up! Jones IS the false flag!

Planned obsolescence is good for business if done right. It's like the recall formula from Fight Club.

If X phones need replacing before Y years have passed, and most users can be easily convinced to buy a new phone after Y years (Y is probably about 2), and the cost of replacing X phones is less than waiting Z years for people to buy a new phone, (Z = number of years it take people to replace a phone that has no real issues, so Z probably close to 4 or 5), then the "broken" phones are profitable to the company.

I didn't say it was good for consumers, but it can be good for business.

You saw how well that worked out for the Luddites.

When I worked for the federal government in the 80's, I had to break federal laws every day just to get my job done.

It is not an efficient system.

Do those figures include fuel load? 80 litres of gasoline only weighs about 56Kg, but it is not light.

Yeah, I can still open my 2010 truck with a coat hanger, so I ain't to worried.

I still have to support NT4, XP, VxWorks, Win98 and even some networked DOS machines in our factory.

You don't go changing the OS on a piece of equipment that costs over a million bucks to replace and all the software for the equipment is written for that OS. You just keep supporting it. And when you have hundreds of machines that cost a shit-ton of money to replace but work fine with the old OS, you keep supporting it.

And you call the new employees a buncha goddamn whiners because they don't want to learn "old stuff."

Knowing old stuff makes you valuable.