I am missing my friend, Jethro On Deathrow.

As you know, he's in a minimum security facility (he still didn't tell me why) and I see he hasn't written for almost a month. But the worse thing is that he deteriorated into the realm of the -1 posters because he posted too many comments about his dick.

So now he's limited to 2 posts a day, and I don't have mod points anywhere so I can't mod him up!! And he can't create a new account because he's not allowed to have email accounts in his jail! So what am I gonna do?

Please help me to find my friend.

What do you think of TATU?

I think they suck vagina ass! (pun intended)
Of course they are hot, but that's their only virtue. They sing in English, but it still sounds russian in a bad way - their repeating patterns makes me think of psychosis and schizophrenia. The girls are insane!

Their song is a good thing to play in the psychotic girls shelter, and not in front of the sane audience.

See the comments.

Seriously. There's nothing to do. In addition, there's nothing to watch on TV too, and the internet topic icon really should be replaced.

And another thing: I want to sleep with Eugenia Loli. She's hot.

This is none of your business! I erased it.

I, among many other people, believe that many times, people are fighting each other just because they are so busy that they forget doing the important good act of mastrubation. Because they fail to make themselves happy, they try finding reasons for that and attack other people in order to fill the big void in their mind, while missing the obvious answer of self love.

Gladly, fine people who were aware of this problem created a site for spreading the knowledge in order to make us much more happy. It contains songs, slogans and stickers that everyone's encouraged to print and stick on their bumpers.

masturbateforpeace.com

Tonight...
(see comments inside for more)

Censored. But you can read it in the comment section.

There's that married neighbour near my house, and she got 4 children, but that doesn't matter to me! She's so cute.. I like her shy and simple nature, and I want to do her.
Please advise.

Have you ever noticed that if you don't pee for long, then when you eventually pee, you produce a concentrated urine, which smells just like canned tuna? (It smells like a sick girl's vagina as well) It means that tuna and urine share the same core materials, which is great for all the watersports fans around here!

Wanking is a very important thing.
The sheer pleasure people feel because of it has caused many people to believe that it's a sin, and humans shouldn't enjoy in such a way. But don't belive it! You should make use of your built-in way to pleasure yourself. I'm sure god wants you to do that.

Apparantly several people don't know how to do it, so I decided to help you all using a simple list of what you should do. So that's how you should do it:

1. Go to the shower room.

2. Take off your pants and underwear, so you can see your penis.

3. Cause an errection by gently playing with it. You'll see how it grows, which is a very pleasant thing.

4. Now start rubbing it. If you're not alone at home, you might like to open the water so other people won't hear the rubbing noise.

5. Start thinking about girls (or boys, if your door swings that way) that you'd like to fuck. Sometimes it can be funny even to think about relatively ugly girls - just the funny revolting thought ("would I fuck that ugly girl?") can cause you to get aroused. Start imagining how you'd do that to them, while wanking.

Step 5 is important! When I first started wanking, I didn't think about that, and just continued rubbing expecting for the climax.. which many times didn't come because my dick became so sore.

6. Before the climax, you may notice that a natural lubrication material will quitely flow from your dick. It's a transparent, semi-oily material which comes in small doses and shouldn't be mistaken with the semen, which is white and gunky (and should come in big bursts). That material doesn't really help to masturbate actually, and will cause your dick to stick to your hands, making masturbation harder. So when that happens, pour some drops of water on your dick, which will remedy the situation. You can also try rubbing your hands on your tummy several times if you want to keep your dick dry.

7. After a while, you should reach the climax, where semen is squirted from your penis, and serotonin is emitted in your brain at the same time, resulting in an utermost pleasure feeling, whose only equivalent can be found in drugs.

Enjoy.

Update: Some AC provided me with a site dedicated to the joy of wanking: JackinWorld.com. You might want to check it for wanking tips and similar information.

This thing has been censored. We are sorry for the inconvenience.