Best idea yet. I wish I could give you my mod points. Brilliant notion.

No, I'm an engineer. I solve problems. If I thought asking nicely would work I would have suggested that instead.

Some problems respond best to a nuanced approach, and some are best solved with a hammer.

Have some feds buy some land lines and cell phones. Give them a few credit cards. Then when the robocall comes in, answer it and buy whatever they are selling.

Track the transaction, figure out who is responsible, and then arrest them.

If they are in another country, contact that government and have them arrest them. If they won't, sanctions. If that doesn't work threaten to cut their cable.

Most successful criminal mastermind EVER.

No, really.

Buy him some educational DVDs and fire up VideoLAN. On the PC you'll learn how to navigate menus, click a mouse - all that. It's basic computer skills. Then as a bonus - educational videos.

My kid right now is watching the School House Rock DVDs on his machine. Clicking around like a pro. And learning about about adverbs at the moment.

Not necessarily conflicting, but definitely mixed. I picture a 2 circle Venn diagram. One is "enjoy my job", and the other is "get paid". You'd like to be in the middle overlapping bit.

I have no idea how to tell you how to enjoy your job. Only you know what you like. As for the language? Completely irrelevant. Any decent coder can learn a new language. If you've gone from Z80 to Perl, then you already know this and you are most likely the right sort.

But only you can know what you would enjoy. What would energize you and make you happy. So here is a strategy for you to find jobs in that middle area.

Look at job postings like you are looking for a job. Check the job resources you like in the way that you normally would. Now print out and save the jobs you think you would enjoy. Look at their requirements. If you do this for a few months you'll see patterns emerging. I want to be a _____________, and every job posted for those kinds of positions has __________ as a requirement.

Keep notes. Eventually you'll see what you need to learn. Then go learn it.

Then if you can, hook up with a temp agency. Tell them you are looking for temporary work doing _________. Do that for a while and do it well. Be sure you impress at least one person at each assignment. Get their names and numbers. When you are done ask them if they would not mind being a reference for you.

Then when you are ready for your salaried position above, mark that time on your resume as consulting (because temp agencies on your resume aren't desirable). Then send out those resumes.

And from one greybeard to another, best of luck!

Or at the very least some government funding allocated to developing an anti-dragon missile. That would be like us.

A $4.5 million dollar scam. Restitution of $2.3 million to Cisco, $462,828 to Verizon. So that makes his net profit approximately $1.75 million. He'll be in prison for 4 years. Probably out in 2 with good behavior but let's say he does the full 4. That's $1.75 million / 4 = $435,000 a year. Not bad.

I'd hardly call that a deterrent to crime. Hell, he's currently more profitable than the company I work for.

A friend of mine in college gave me my first slack. He built his own computer (very cutting-edge in those days) 486-33. Got slack running on it. And used it for one of the greatest pranks I've ever seen.

Two other friends of ours were roommates. One worked day shift, the other worked night shift. The only communication they had for months on end was a chessboard. First roomie was a chess nut, and quite a good player. Second roomie wasn't so great.

So the Slackbox was devoted to running Gnuchess turned up to max. It would take 10 hours to compute a move. Second roomie would call Slackbox, get his move, and go to work. When he would come home from work he would dial up Slackbox and input First roomie's move.

This went on for months. First roomie had no idea how he was getting his ass handed to him. Was a great laugh when everyone came clean about the prank.

assholes. I couldn't get into my bank all weekend to pay my bills thanks to you merry jokesters.

Want your own net? Suits me just fine.

See? Projection.

I would say it's more delusional to think that anyone can be anything if only they apply themselves.

You're not exceptional, you're an egomaniac.

Ah. I see what the problem is. Above, you said this:

"When I was young, I thought myself exceptional as well. I chalk that up to youthful arrogance. I got over it. My self-worth is no longer defined by what I fancy myself as "good at"."

Ok, so apparently at one point in time you were Nick Burns. Fine. But now you've seen the light and you think that we - just like you did - need to get over ourselves, it's nothing special, and so on. What you're doing is projecting your life's experience onto an entire industry and everyone in it. I'm very glad you "got over it", but please don't apply your experiences to everyone else. Please read item #2, Fundamental Attribution Error for clarification.

And also, please pay attention to the AC below about the Gaussian distribution of intelligence.

No, not everyone should write code or perform brain surgery.

My exact point. Now, who is being obtuse again?

But that doesn't mean that most people are incapable of writing code or becoming skilled surgeons.

Really? Most people can become surgeons? Are you sure about that? 3 out of 8 people that take the GED flunk it. You're saying that all these people need to do is knuckle down and study, and you'd happily let them inside your head with a scalpel?

Sure you would.

The simple fact is that some people are more capable than others for a given set of tasks. There isn't any "getting over" it. We are all different from one another.

And some jobs simply are not for some people. No matter how much you work out or how many pushups a day you do, you will never be an NFL quarterback. No matter how many books on quantum mechanics you read, you will never come up with a brilliant paradigm changing theory. And to a lesser degree, most of humanity no matter how hard they try would never be able to write a working and useable computer program.

Sorry, but that's how it is. If anyone could do it the market would be full of skilled programmers making Taco Bell wages. But it isn't.

There you have it. You think being able to program makes you special in some way or indicates that you're above average.

Think of everyone you knew from high school. Now imagine each one of them piloting an airplane you are a passenger in. Not everyone is cut out for every job. Some jobs do require the right person to do the job correctly.

And if you think any idiot can write code you clearly haven't ever been given the task of maintaining some other idiot's code base before. If you really think anyone can do the job I recommend you peruse this site some.

Unlike brain surgery, you can be self taught and be good at programming. But just like brain surgery not everyone should be doing it.

I do not think you have thought it all the way through.

When victims of child abuse go to the courts, the stenographer will do...what exactly? Write down everything that is said. Right?

On the plus side the jail is right there. After court is over you can take the stenographer right over to the holding cell.