How much did you say smart phones cost in the US? Let me see, US median house sales price as of April 30 2017 = $244,800. Therefore ($244,800 - $10,000 down payment) / 20 phones = $11,740 per phone. Holy shit that's expensive.

Inflation alone would mean $2.25 billion in 2000 is the equivalent of $3.2 billion in 2017. So in real terms, California State University earned about $200 million more in today’s money than they did 17 years ago. If they were listed on the stock exchange I would be quite disappointed with their performance. I wonder what happened to enrolment numbers and external research funding during that time?

To exploit a pacemaker, you will have to reverse engineer the communication protocol and API for a particular brand and model of pacemaker, then ghetto-hack your own portable pacemaker programmer, then find a victim who happens to have that exact brand and model inside their chest, and then hold your device right up against their chest for more than an awkward amount of time while your device reconfigures the victims pacemaker. There are cheaper, faster, and far more effective ways to mess people up, but go right ahead and hack a pacemaker if it's so easy.

Everything is lethal in Australia. Snakes, jellyfish, crocodiles, spiders, sharks, stingrays. Even birds will freakin disembowel people. I'm surprised anyone even lives past 16 over there.

I have the same problem with plums. The last time I bought plums from the supermarket I left them in the fruit bowl for a month waiting for them to ripen. They never did, or rather, that variety was bred to remain hard when ripe so they can stay in transit and on shop shelves longer. They bred the taste out too. I won't buy plums from the supermarket ever again. Luckily we have a really good farmers market here with real fruit.

Can't do that, but I know some guy who can make the most luxurious soap.

This distro was code named 'Blowhard Linux' before the marketing department changed it.

Won't work. Companies will outsource generic low skill work to other companies through tenders, and then divides the rest of the company into wholly owned subsidiaries. The CEO and his buddies stay in the parent company. The CEO of the parent company, the 'CEO' of each subsidiary, only earns 4 or 5 time more than the lowest paid employee within that company. High fives all around the board room.

In communist DDR: Sie Ficken Du!

The role of college has become one of making as much profit as possible. As long as students want to study, and lending institutions are willing to lend, and employers pay a premium for certified candidates, then colleges have absolutely no incentive to fix the issue.

I know panty sniffing humans. Show me one dog that sniffs panties better than they do. Maybe we are just optimised for different smells.

I think you mean 'there are issues with pedestrians', not 'there is issues with pedestrians'.

My city has enough sensors in strategic places to detect all those things you mention. It's quite impressive to watch traffic flow. The censors all feed into a central computer so the lights are coordinated. This causes traffic to naturally bunch up in some places, and stay sparse in other places, in a way that minimises wait times for most people. Lights start to change as a cluster of vehicles approaches an intersection. Vehicles in a cluster move through intersections in a tight group, usually without stopping, minimising wait times for other traffic. The lights change to orange again just as the last vehicle in the cluster reaches the intersection. If no other traffic is waiting, then the lights stay green. I'm a cyclist, so I don't trigger the sensors. If there are no cars waiting at an intersection with me then the lights simply stay red for me, even without traffic, until a car arrives or I get off and press the pedestrian cross button.

Joke's on you, suckers. This story was brought to you by "an anonymous reader" (signed APK).

Many thanks to a progressive Dutch primary education system.