like "The Importance of Avoiding Sexually-Transmitted Diseases In Port," "Heavy Maintenance On Carrier Launchers: Packing Steam Pistons," and "Don't Throw That Wrench."

the launches are in the bank. trust us. they said they'll send the negatives any day now...

99.998% uptime, 974 exabits moved without error, 56 firewall intercepts of phishing variety, 12,467 blocks to blacklist sites, 14,273,996 successful shopping cart transactions with 2 abandons, 67 helpless desk calls with cust satisfaction of 99% on survey, 3 new C-level gadgets installed of 3 requests, projects on or ahead of schedule... aw, what the heck, 2 BOFH reports and 3 replacements hired...

so change it, already

according to Level3, which is seeing congestion and ISPs asking for upgrade money. Cringely wrote about it yesterday. Goldarnit, The Connected Internet is supposed to be free in the middle, or it all falls apart! /coot

he just drones on and on and on and on....

RFID cards and chips, not so much. way more expensive the way car companies do it.

that to mount a "man in the middle" attack, you need a horse and a lance.

namely walk a platoon of troops through the minefield? sure could use that in Ukraine right now...

that pesky Visual Basic in all those hack apps...

it's all a made-for-TV movie. you are not an extra, no $100.

they're offshore, they're cheaper than dust, and they're all religious fanatics. can't offshore more thoroughly than that for life-critical, society-critical infrastructure.

you guys, really, your ties are way, way too tight.

that the software was not capable of being understood, or the documentation was skanty and faulty, that the Oracle consultants were dunderheads and got in the way, on and on.

nice opportunity for a court of law and special masters to sort out. make it happen. King Ellison I is not always right.

and in England, where this story obviously hails from, the Acme Boobytrap Catalog will start getting a lot more orders. I should think scimitar installation and bear traps will be big. yes, new technology creates business!

common flaw in greenmailer philosophy... except they only care about the now, and screw the future.

the subsidiary operations that look cash-positive are dependent on services from the core company, and generally share synergies (back-office costs, research, brand value, facilities, yo'momma, whatever) which make them look better on the spreadsheet.

take that away in a breakup, all of a sudden the "haves" are hurting for resources, and need to spend big to replace them. but the experience needed to utilize the resources went with another arm of the octopus.

therefore, (5a): no profit and flounder.

this "unlocking shareholder value" thing is a cloak over the same old pirate uniform.