I've written about Nebbeline on Multiply. Thought I'd share her with everyone over here...

And don't forget to visit Wolfgangkloof ;-)

Ok, so I guess it's time for my monthly update, as it would seem.

The car situation is undoubtedly aging me. Still not resolved, this marks nearly 2 months. I tried to call my local agent again today, and of course she is not in. She is never in when I call, and usually takes a couple of additional phone messages on the days that she is in before she will call me back.

Since my last posting I received a second claim number. Left messages with 2 different people in the claims corporate departments, neither of which called me back. I got a mailing from my local agent that was a form to fill out about how I liked my service and the speed of the solution of my claim. I've decided to give her one last chance to get this rolling before I give her bad marks on everything. Assuming she calls me back.

I don't really know what to say about the grandmother situation that would be entirely appropriate, other than she decided to have the surgery that she insisted that she didn't want to have (unless everyone else wanted her to or something?). It sounds like she'll make a recovery. I don't really want to talk about it.

Mostly I'm just mentioning that much to set the stage for this bit: I'm pretty much avoiding my family right now, because the stress of dealing with them has gotten to great, probably as a result of the added strain of my grandmother. My mother sends me emails that not so subtly aim guilt in my direction. My father sends lonely sounding emails because he is stuck in NJ with grandmother, and she's never been a very nice person. Basically I feel like I'm failing at my familial obligations, I think that they are accusing me of that.

I can't take care of them anymore. Especially right now. I had decided that this year I needed to start putting myself first so that I can heal. It got to the point in the first couple weeks of this year to where any and every conversation I would have with them (particularly my mother, but if I talk to my father, she'll get persistent about why I am avoiding her, so he gets pushed out too) would make me so stressed and upset that I would feel physically ill, and it was probably a contributing factor in why I got sick so much.

But the guilt...

The fact that they're all online (including my brother, who is never online) makes me feel worse. I'm currently signed in as invisible, otherwise I'm sure I'd probably would have had to leave the computer by now entirely due to the stress and sickness. Well, brother needs the brownie points right now anyways, to make up for his other behaviours. And they might all be visiting in a few days, so I'm not sure how I'll weather that, especially when my mother brings the inevitable "where have you been" accusation to the table.

I could probably go on many more paragraphs about it.

Had my first GI specialist appointment. Essentially it was a waste of time. She gave me 2 OTC med samples. One worked, but not the way I thought it would, and the other I am too scared to try due to the high risk of dependency associated with it, and the possible side effect of crapping one's pants at random. Would have been nice if she mentioned those things in the office. I'm glad I can research online.

On the good things side: I adore my husband, and he adores me. He gave me a brand new project to work on as what he wanted for his Valentine's present. It's going better than I thought it would, but still trying to get everything to go together. Edited the first 3 chapters of the novel I started ages ago. Husband is helping me with a new line of studies. I am trying hard.

Sorry if this is all TMI or inappropriate or whatever. I really need someone to talk to, and sadly this journal is my only way to do it anymore. My one good friend is in Italy right now, and the girl who is local never messaged me back. Sadly, everyone else I know seems more distant than a bunch of strangers I know on the internet.

Addendum: local agent called me back, and started giving me the business about how she doesn't handle this stuff and I need to talk to the other people who never call me back. Well, I out-bitched her, and now she said that she will call the claims people and get them to tell her what is going on. I think that as soon as we get this settled, we might be switching companies.

Wolfgangkloof - http://wolfgangkloof.myminicity.com/ :-)

read it and laugh at the stupidity

At least he admitted he was a dumbass...

Read about it here

lots of photos to whet your appetite and make your RoFs go stir-crazy ;-)

I'm in a rather bitchy mood right now. That's a forewarning.

Car problem not solved yet. Playing fun phone tag with various people and everyone tells me I need to call someone else. The adjustor is in theory looking at my paperwork now, and was supposed to call me back. Has not yet, so I will be calling again this afternoon, probably to be told I need to be more patient. It's been a month. My car is rusting in the snow. I'm annoyed.

In new apartment. Found out after we signed the lease that Towlie (the bad upstairs neighbor) got evicted for his felony charges. So in theory he has to be moved out in less than 2 weeks at this point. Glad we don't live there anymore though.

Christmas was ok. I just don't much get into it anymore. Especially since by the time Christmas was here, we had already had 2, and all the presents were distributed.

New year's was kind of made to suck by my mom who called on the eve to say "you're one surviving grandparent is in the hospital and 'it doesn't look good'. oh yeah, happy new year." so now I'm kind of more mad at my mom than I was before, and I cringe every time my phone rings thinking it's her and she's going to bug me about this some more.

Why does everyone have to die around the holidays?

And while I'm already upset about various other things, I find out today that this girl I used to be friends with until the whole bridal shower issues finally set her wedding date. (Don't think I mentioned her Stockholm syndrome fiance before, but anyways...) It annoys me that she chose May 16 for her wedding date. We chose May 18 because it had significance to us. She chose 16 because it's the first Sat after her graduation. I doubt she gave us a passing thought though. We probably won't be invited anyways, so it won't matter.

Yes I am petty.

So combined with all of my other worries and health problems, I'm pretty bummed out at this point. Dreading the 'what next' in some of these situations, because I know there just isn't a way for them to end well.

Sorry.

Wow, it's been almost a year since I've put any thoughts down in this journal. And, as usual, I'm never quite sure what to write.

I got a new job. Christmas was wonderful, with no familial drama whatsoever for a change. New years was at my place, and the party lasted three days, with a consensus that it was the best new years party many of them had ever attended. Of course, as host, I got new years kisses from every single lady there, much to the amusement of my wife, who collected most of them.

Another year, many changes but it's all the same in the end.

I got a lensbaby! :-D

The 2.0 to be more precise. I can't wait to start playing around with it...

If you don't know what a lensbaby is or what it can do, click on the product link, or perhaps check out the lensbaby flickr group...

I also got penguin jewelry - the silver one. Apparently, it was the (plush) penguin and owl families that insisted I get this ;-)

Boyfriend of tuxette got one of these, so that he can find himself :-P

Ok, car problem is very nearly solved at this point. And thank God it's working out in my favor now.

About a half an hour ago, as I am starting to write this anyways, husband called me. Apparently the officer on the case had called him to let him know he had talked to the owner of the truck we suspected, and they admitted it was them.

Well, actually he said the two occupants were blaming each other, but that they both admitted it was that truck. And it is insured.

So on Friday we can go down to the police station and get a copy of the report so I can give it to the insurance, and hopefully get everything finalized.

This news came at a good time, because I had talked to my mom earlier today who had talked to her agent (I could not get ahold of mine. I guess she does not work Wednesdays) who said that if no one could be found, this incident would count as an accident for me, and my rates would go up and I would lose my accident free discount.

So I'm very glad that this is working out, and I feel so happy and relieved they admitted to it. That's one thing I can stop worrying about now.

Ps: new apartment is ready, just have to sign the paperwork and we can start moving. Praying that it will work out better.

Well, I guess chronological order is usually best.

Thursday around noonish, I hear upstairs neighbor throwing a huge fit with screaming, swearing, loud crashing/thumping, and complete with death threat to unknown person(s). Police notified, office notified. Police come and talk to him for about 20 minutes, but leave. Office does not give a rats ass, however does tell me that a different apartment is available.

Friday morning, leave with husband for doctor's appointment to see that my car was involved with a hit-and-run during the night. Go for craptacular doctors visit in which they screw just about everything up and are stuck there for 2 hours. Doctor unhelpfully tells me I need to see 2 different specialists, have a test for something she doesn't believe that I have, and need to take anti-anxiety pills because I had a total meltdown in her office on account of the shitty day I was already having. Oh, and I have high blood pressure. Big surprise, right?

Come back to apartment, contact police about car. Officer takes pictures, measurements, and runs my DL. No points, no priors. Go me. Unfortunately after he inspects all the other cars in the parking lot, he determines that none of those present looks like a likely candidate. Call insurance, get sent to repair shop. Get estimate for $2000 worth of body damage, and some minor structural damage to the door that they think they can just hammer back into shape.

Decide to take the other apartment. Begin shitty process of packing and looking for moving helpers. Very happy we made this decision though, based on what comes next.

Saturday evening neighbor goes for the superloud music again. Call cops. When officer arrives the music is still playing. Hear neighbor screaming at him. Then suddenly there was a several minute long scuffle with much pounding and yelling, sounding like they fought their way down the stairs. Neighbor is escorted away in handcuffs. It looked like every on-duty officer in the city was in our parking lot. Scariest experience of my life.

He came back to his apartment roughly 12 hours later, but I think it was just to get some belongings, because (with a prayer) it is remaining quiet since then.

This morning was filled with unhelpful phone calls about my car. Although we do think we have found out who did it, have to wait until tomorrow for the officer we made the original report, since he was not on duty today. Insurance is being frustrating, I guess I should not be surprised. Have to take car in for an estimate (again) because the repairman did not take pictures the first time and would not submit anything to the insurance without an assignment for repair from them. I'm not going to get any repairs done until I get the police report, because I don't want the insurance to be able to back out on me and stick me with a huge bill, when I'm not sure I want to have everything repaired to "good as new" condition when I'm mostly concerned about just the rusting.

I feel like I am taking this all rather well, considering I have not had to be hospitalized yet. Just standing here with my broken umbrella, waiting for the pouring to stop.

More crashes in the full moon

Statistics show that a full moon really can "bring out the beast," at least in Norway, where the most collisions between cars and moose occur when the moon is full and the weather is cold.

Norway's state statistics bureau SSB reports that 1,321 moose were killed in traffic accidents during the past year. Most of them occurred in the winter: Statistics reveal three times as many collisions between moose and vehicles in January than in the summer.

Torstein Storaas of Hedmark College, one of Norway's foremost experts on moose, told newspaper Aftenposten that it's not just because it's easier for the moose to move alongside open roads when snow is lying deep in the forest.

It's also, Storaas said, because the moose prefer to eat the twigs and branches of pine and low shrubbery during the winter. "Therefore they need to emerge from the deep fir- and spruce forest," he said. "Unfortunately many claim they also are attracted by the salt spread on highways by road crews."

The moose is also most active during a full moon, although it's not entirely clear why. Moose tend to wander more than usual during a full moon, and not just because the moonlight guides their way. Studies show they're just as active when cloud cover blocks out the moon.

Motorists are thus advised to use extra caution during full moon periods in the wintertime. Subfreezing temperatures, snow in the forest and dry air draw the moose towards roadways, and that's when driving is dangerous.

Many drivers involved in collisions with moose claim the animal suddenly darted across the road, and they didn't have a chance to brake in time. Storaas said that's because the moose are easily stressed by the noise of traffic and headlights, making them unpredictable. They also have trouble moving on hard, icy roads and want to get across as quickly as possible.

Collisions between cars and moose are generally more serious than collisions with other animals, because the moose are so large. They're generally hit in the legs, and then land with full force in the car's passenger compartment.

I didn't finish using the last set I got. And I've only been here a very few times since I wrote my last JE. What gives? ;-)

Closest thing you'll get to a drunk post from me is this one... Decongestant post.

I've got some sort of thing. It started off as a chest/cough thing for a few weeks. I think it has migrated to the sinuses now. Took some decongestants for the first time in probably a year. Now I remember why I don't like them. Totally brain-fried. They should be wearing off soon, but it's kind of screwed up my day.

I guess since I've admitted to husband's entire family that I am writing now, I can admit it to the rest of the world. Kind of embarrassing really, especially since they will probably continue to ask me questions about it. (holy crap, it just took me like 5 tries to use the spell checker to fix the word "embarrassing", I am that out of it from the decongestants.) It's killing my word count, which I am already behind.

Context: http://nanowrimo.org/

So now everyone knows but my family. I'd feel bad about that, but whatever. Reading that book that everyone's always suggesting to me made me realize it's kind of their fault that I don't really know what I'm doing.

I want to take a nap.

I was wondering if anyone else was using the new Minefield Firefox beta. Husband "upgraded" mine last week, saying that it ran better on his computer than the full release version before it did. Not so much the case for me though. Today it crashed and burned twice, which the other version had not done for me in quite a while.

Anyways, main question is memory usage. Husband said that this was supposed to correct a lot of the memory problems that Firefox has had in the past. On his computer (64 bit ubuntu I believe) Firefox has a bad memory leak which caused it to crash and eat all his memory etc. Firefox did slowly eat memory on my 32 bit ubuntu, but not to the excessive rates the Minefield is doing.

I have the system monitor for memory set up, and it shows that I am using 66% of memory (before I would not use above 50%) and Firefox starts saying that it uses less than 100 mb, but then jumps to 400 or 500 on the tally sheet. But closing it does not return the 400 that it is using, only the 100, and the system monitor continues to say I am using up a ton of memory.

This has only happened since using the Minefield version. But husband has looked at it and says that the new memory usage reports are correct. I think he thinks I am misremembering the usage from before.

I am not sure what else would be causing this, or even any reason Firefox would be doing this unless it is using the ram as cache even after being closed. And closing out all active programs does not return me to low memory usage. I have not tried to run blender since this has started going on, because I am pretty sure it would crash a lot.

Second part: Is there a way to download gmail chat messages off of the gmail web interface thing? I've noticed that apparently all of my messages sent by my gmail account on pidgin (I hate pidgin, I much preferred gaim. I can tell a difference) and gaim before it show up on the web interface, but not vice versa. I much prefer to have them on my computer where they are more easily searched and whatnot.

"Good feelings gone."

All though the rage is slowly disapating as well.

I am so frustrated right now with the apartment people. Again.

We had a few days without music, but then last night it was blasting again. The general loudness never stopped.

So I go back to the office with a pair of complaint forms filled out. I have to talk to the bitch office lady because the nice one was on the phone.

I'll have you know she raised her voice first. She's always so rude. The "you don't stand a crap's chance" phrase will stick in my mind forever.

Essentially she's now passing the buck onto her boss, and she wants us all to have a nice sit-down and work things out.

I don't think he'll be willing to do this because he doesn't answer his door when we go to ask him to turn it down.

I am unwilling to do this, because then he will know for a fact what we look like and that it is us that have been complaining, and I fear retribution.

I also know that this meeting isn't going to solve anything and that things will be the same way afterwards as they are now. Experience with other assholes taught me this.

Besides, husband made our desires known to the idiot upstairs in a notice he left him our second week here. "Quiet between 11pm and 7am." Not unreasonable.

Also, I call bullshit on him "only having a little am/fm clock radio" because it is louder than that. He must be playing it through his TV on a dvd player or something, and his TV must have very large speakers.

Or else he never did remove his stereo. Or he has it back. And I'd bet money that no one went up there to check on it.

So now office bitch wants us to work out "some kind of 50/50". I don't want to work it out. I shouldn't have to be the one to compromise when I am not bothering anyone.

Why do nightmares always repeat themselves?