Although this is an old story, the message is timeless (pardon the pun).
The news here is for the stupid people who read this as either an important reminder, or first time exposure to a lesson in what not to do.

From the CDC:
"as of April 23rd, there were more than 854 cases of pneumonia from the capital. Of those, 59 have died."
Is 7% a "high" death rate?

Fixed that for ya.
That should cut down on the nonsense of 18 year olds having sex with 17 year olds and getting tried and convicted for child molestation.

What language is that? I'd love it if you have link to the song. :)

The Song of the Grass-Mud Horse

There is a herd of Grass-Mud Horses whose name
sounds like "Fuck Your Mother".
They live in the wild and beautiful Ma Le Desert,
also known as your mother's cunt.

The Grass-Mud horses are lively and intelligent.
They are fun-loving and nimble.
They live freely in the Ma Le Desert (your mother's cunt).
They are courageous, tenacious, and overcome the difficult environment.

Oh lying down, a Grass-Mud Horse is not afraid to say "Fuck your Mother".
Oh running wild, Grass-Mud Horse is not afraid to say "Your Mother's Cunt".
They defeated the River Crabs called "censorship" and "harmony"
in order to protect their grassland (your mother's vagina).

River Crabs and censorship disappeared from the Ma Le Desert forever!

Could that be rewritten to "all evil = (love of money)^2"?

Shh, it's ok iPhone, I'll never abandon you. There there. Shhh...

That's a funny joke, but it brings to mind a question that bugs me whenever I see articles about the results of studies:

Where's the data?

Is it too much to ask when an article is published about the results of a study that the article also link to, I dunno, the study itself? This'd be great for those of us who want to know more that the top 3 contenders and not have to go searching for it ourselves; that is, if the purpose of the article is to inform.

If any slashdotters notice that the article did link to more details and I just missed it, help would be appreciated.

Be careful

I'll bet PETA's going to have a field day with this.

Dear Congress,
I believe that if you see the attached graph (Fig 1), you'll see that the stock market has been doing quite well in general since my birth. However, lately, I've been quite annoyed, and as such the the world wide financial health has been shaken (see attached Fig 2). I request a meager 10 million USD to support me to help alleviate this situation. I promise you that things in the US economy will get worse in the coming months if you do not heed this request. I will need at least 100 thousand USD to get me thru the next 4 months. In light of the other economic stimulus packages of late, I'm sure you'll agree this is a small request well within reason and I assure you it will be absolutely worth the investment. I urge you to not spend a moment more thinking about this and cough up the money immediately, lest you fall behind in the world market of funding me.

Thank you.