The reason that dogs invariably alert to cash: 90% of bills are tainted by cocaine

Eat them like french fries instead.

You know. The stuff made of cream from venomous cows.

He tried putting her in the yard but the wind kept knocking her over. Also the pigeons were a real nuisance.

And then what? We send them a sternly worded letter threatening to send another sternly worded letter if they do it again?

Not only that. Now I have to have all my address labels reprinted!

She was afraid of heights!

I haven't been around a lot of hay bales in a while, but back in the 60's and 70's hay bales were bound together with steel wire. The machine that we towed through the fields to pick up the cut hay and make the bales was stocked with spools of... wait for it... "baling wire" :)

As long as you don't get involved in a trial against the no-fly list, you're probably OK.

http://yro.slashdot.org/story/... for those who need a refresher.

You have a local video rental store? I haven't seen one of those in my area since Blockbuster closed.

I am apathetic to your outrage.

Am I doin' it right?

Heh. I had one of those.

Not nearly as disturbing as this, sold as a kid's party game in Japan, IMO.

If a U.S. citizen was killed, then the U.S. has a diplomatic wedge into the investigation. "We are looking into what happened to our people."

If if no U.S. citizen is involved, then everyone inside and outside would be perfectly justified in telling the U.S. to keep their nose out of it. (Not that the U.S. would follow that advice.)

Missle: In the beginning, there was darkness. And the darkness was without form, and void.

Pilot: What the hell is he talking about?

Missle: And in addition to the darkness there was also me. And I moved upon the face of the darkness. And I saw that I was alone. Let there be light.

Or use an utterly bland review as code for a bad review.

"I ate at this restaurant. They clean it. It has decorations. It had service. I had a meatball sandwich. The meatballs were made of beef. I went home and went to bed."

Translation: "I really wish I hadn't eaten here. The place was filthy, the decor is horrible and the service was terrible. The meatball sandwich I had was disgusting. The menu said it was made with beef, but I question whether that is actually the case. After eating here, I felt sick."