Going Dynamic with PHP

Five-Oh writes to tell us that IBM DeveloperWorks has an interesting article about the OO advantages of PHP V's new features. From the article: "PHP V5's new object-oriented programming features have raised the level of functionality in this popular language significantly. Learn how to use the dynamic features of PHP V5 to create objects that bend to fit your needs."

I would like to be the first to say...

[Yuioup]

"welcome to 1967".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simula [wikipedia.org]

Y

Re:PHP

[Ford Prefect]

PHP: The Language For People Who Can't Code Perl

Oh, but everyone (and everything) can code perl - the trick is to hit the keys in a sufficiently random manner.

A$u^UD&KRWTuKUI^R&54$%A%ERYTi:",<%$E^%L<E%@$U%^*E

There. That's either a full-featured web-browser, or a worm which will destroy the entire internet. I don't really dare to run it... ;-)

Crap...

[A beautiful mind]

I've clicked to another tab to browse at some other site and then I've seen suddently:

"Slashdot | Going Dynamic with PHP"

...as the title of the Slashdot tab. It gave me the creeps until I remembered whats the article about. Phew.

Re:PHP

[deep44]

Can anybody else read this comment? My browser keeps crashing..

Re:PHP

[Unski]

Or actually, the language for people who want a specific tool for a specific job. What is it with this tedious Perl clique on Slashdot? There are, I presume, plenty of other language-based cliques on /. , however the most vocal ones always seem to be the Perl-mongers. They're the ones who seem to pipe-up the most regardless of topic.

And, for some reason, I'm always left with this mental image of a tall, pasty elder geek sitting in that proverbial Mom's Basement, pulling on his long pointy beard whilst his Gentoo box spends it's 28th hour compiling a boot-loader or something, smirking as he sees his, ahem, 'Perl of Wisdom' slide down the Slashdot page like a turd in summer.

I just fucking hate you, why bother posting at all?

Perl: The Language for People Who Can't Be Arsed to Investigate the Right Language For The Task At Hand.
Perl: 'Cos You Never Really Moved On.
Perl: Why Use the Standalone Screwdriver When There Is A More Fiddly One Attached To This 52-Way Swiss Army Knife?

* Retrieves dummy and calms down *

Re:Infighting between PHP and Perl?

[shobadobs]

No, they are like completely different. About the only thing they have in common is $ in front of scalar variable names, some is-it-a-string-or-is-it-a-number situations, and C-style loops and if statements.

Re:If you're going to be this generic...

[sammy baby]

My issue with databases and all that is that they are not abstract enough. Either one must create a new table when one wishes to implement a new feature, or one must develop some extremely generic database that is hard to search.

Well, you could always create a single-table database. Call the single table "Stuff," put a generic autoincrementing key on it, and give it two more columns: a type identifier and a serialized object that contains all the data.

Of course, you could also stab yourself in the eye. Might be preferable.

Re:PHP

[nbritton]

@P=split//,".URRUU\c8R";@d=split//,"\nrekcah xinU / lreP rehtona tsuJ";sub p{
@p{"r$p","u$p"}=(P,P);pipe"r$p","u$p";++$p;($q *=2)+=$f=!fork;map{$P=$P[$f^ord
($p{$_})&6];$p{$_ }=/ ^$P/ix?$P:close$_}keys%p}p;p;p;p;p;map{$p{$_}=~/^[ P.]/&&
close$_}%p;wait until$?;map{/^r/&&<$_>}%p;$_=$d[$q];sleep rand(2)if/\S/;print

Re:PHP's Comeupance

[Hal_Porter]

Dear (1+-sqrt(5))*(2**-1),

I must say, Sir, that I salute you for your post. Not only is in Informative, it is also well drafted in the Queens English, not in the debased language of Internetland. Furthermore, you have managed to obtain the coveted pole position of posters, so to speak. As I write this epistle of congratulations, I shall drink a toast of finest port wine to you, and I wish that your correspondence with the world shall continue for all eternity.

If I may be so bold as to trouble you with two requests, it would be these. Firstly, may I post a copy of your memorandum above the post to which I fasten my servants when I whip them for dumb insolence and/or sundry grammatical errors, including the splitting of infinitives or the use of the accursed Internet language? Secondly, my wife is expecting our first child, conceived soon after she spent a night in my servants quarters, teaching them virtue of prayer. Would it be presumptive of me to command her to name her baby (1+-sqrt(5))*(2**-1). We are unsure at present of the sex of the baby, since we have emigrated to the 19th Century to escape the linguistic slovenliness of the later epochs, but we feel that such a name would distinguish a child of either gender?

Yours, etc
Hal Porter, esq.