Linus will move to Moscow to work with Elbrus

K.G. writes "A Russian computer related news agency Computerra said today that Linus Torvalds will move to Moscow, quitting his job in Transmeta to develop a Linux compatible OS intended to run on the E2K processor from Elbrus International. In a russian-language article named "Closer to Dad" Computerra said that the factors that convinced Linus to move to Russia were "more interesting and promising job", closeness to his father who works as a Moscow correspondent for Finnish radio & TV, and a more familiar climate, similar to Linus's homeland Finland (they don't get a lot of snow in LA, do they... ). They also quoted the future boss of Linus, professor Boris Babayan: "The great professional qualities of Torvalds will help create a dependable OS for the E2K processor, fully compatible with Linux, in a tight deadline". "

The Real Story

Linus didn't take a job in Russia because he wanted to. He fled because he *had* to.

The NSA finally noticed all the crypto code in the kernel. Not the "loopback hooks"; those are an obvious red herring. But the IDEA implementation in drivers/net/pseudo/pseudocode, the steganography in the low bits that come of drivers/char/random.c, and the experimental Merced firmware virus hidden in drivers/scsi/qlogicfs_asm.c.

Taking him out at Transmeta was out of the question, of course, because the control for Transmeta comes straight from the Bavarian Illuminati. So they tried a "small job" at his home. But they forgot about Tove (code name: "kill -9").

Paranoid? Ask yourself this: why do you think they call it *RED* Hat?

IT IS TRUE: Confirmation from Linus

Dear Fellow Members of the Linux Community,

It is with a solemn heart that I break this news to you. The posting speaks truth. Like most of you, I thought it was an April's Fool joke. In great mirth, I emailed Linus. Imagine my surprise when he sent back the following reply:

> On Wed, 01 Apr 1999, Alan Cox wrote:
> > Linus, you have to take a look at the posting
> > on Slashdot. Utterly hilarious!
>
> Dear Alan,
>
> My apologies for not informing you of my
> decision earlier. I am afraid the report is
> correct. It is a last minute decision by Tove
> and I. We believed it is the best decision for
> everyone. Let me elaborate:
>
> 1. Spring is in the air. The flowers bloom, the
> sun shines and the great outdoor beckons to me -
> "Drop your work! Come out! Have fun!" it says.
> My heart stirs. My mind strays. The bugs creep
> into the kernel. Recalling the days in Helsinki,
> where the cold kept me indoors and I could work
> without distraction, I decided that it was for
> kernel 2.3's interest that I moved to Russia,
> where the cold is forbidding.
>
> 2. My father. The news report says it all. Have
> your fellow Russian coworker translate it.
>
> 3. The penguins. They don't thrive in the warm
> Californian climate. The local zoo can't do
> anything about it. It saddens me. I am having
> them sent to the Moscow zoo as well.
>
> 4. Transmeta. My work is done here. Alas, we
> will reveal our chip^H^H^H^H product to the
> world. Alas, we will have revenge.
>
> 5. Tove. She doesn't get enough karate practice
> here. She would love to tackle the grizzly bears
> in the Russian countryside. Anyway, cuddling by
> the fireplace is nicer when there is a blizzard
> outside. :)
>
> Alan, we have often talk about me moving to
> England. Alas the paparazzi will hound me day
> and night. Russia is still the best for me.
>
> Please forward this mail to Slashdot.
>
> To my faithful followers: I have not
> forsaken you! The Russian KG^H^H company
> has promised me T1 access to the internet. I
> will continue to code. Updates and patches will
> be released as frequently. Nothing has changed.
> Linux is still GPLed. You still have ESR, RMS
> and BG (yes, him too). Do not lose thy faith.
>
> > Cheers,
> > Alan
>
> Linus Benedict Torvalds
> Transmeta

So there it is. From our fearless leader himself. I hope we will all respect his decision. It is past midnight now. Time for me to sleep.

Alan
PS: Sorry, I forgot my password. Hence the AC posting.