MagnetarJones's Journal: DumAss drivers... (a running tally)

I'm going to try to keep a running tally of my daily encounters with DumAss (pronounced DoomAhss) drivers. Now, I'm aware that this could get large rather quickly (what with me being the only driver on the road that isn't a complete Lunatic) so I'll just try to note the above average Lunatic. The rating system will work with numbers from 1 through 5. 1 being your typical DumAss and 5 being the king of all DumAss's. (And feel free to add your own encounters in the Comments section)

12/18/2002 - 17:16(on the dot) - I know this happens all the time but I need to note this one instance because I was the one that got blocked out. The yearly Christmas rush to go to the local mall is on and traffic lines are longer than normal and backed up through Traffic Lights. This moron turning left out of the grocery store gets the green light, however, HE CAN"T TURN because traffic is backed up through the light, so what does he do? Just what any average moron with a drivers license will do, he pulls out partially and blocks traffic going the other direction (my direction). There was one car ahead of me so I didn't get to lay on the horn or get a good look at him until I was finally able to go around him. Of course he had the standard "stare straight ahead and pretend you did nothing wrong" look.
DumAss rating - 3 (just plain stoopid and all too common)

Any particular day - any time - Ugh! These F$*k Wits can't understand the double left turn lanes (You've seen these haven't you? 2 lanes used for turning left). If they are in the right hand turn lane why do they cross over into the left lane while making the turn?
DumAss rating - 3 (just plain stoopid)

12/10/2002 - 17:20(or so) - I'm in the left lane of a 40mph zone (doing 45-47) when I see break lights up ahead and cars moving into the right lane to go around a small car doing 30. I eventually catch up and get stuck behind the car because I have to turn left. Moving into the turn lane I finally get to pass this car so I can get a bead on the offending DumAss - Results - Some woman in her 30's hunched over with a white knuckle grip on the steering wheel.
DumAss rating - 1 (typical)

How to start Em's day off right

[Em Emalb]

So, there I am driving down the off ramp leading to the freeway. This off ramp has a yield sign for traffic merging in from the right. (The off ramp winds around, and traffic from the crossroad can enter from the left side or the right side of the road.)

Anyhow, I am roughly 30 feet or so behind the car in front of me, going 30 or so MPH. Yep, that kinda pissed me off there, cause you need to merge onto Atlanta roads at speeds of at least 65MPH. Anyhow, down the east bound part of the off ramp comes a truck. Completely ignoring his yield sign, he squeezes into the space between me and the car in front of me.

He pissed me off 3 ways:
1st, he didn't yield to oncoming traffic
2nd, he cut me off and made me jam on my brakes
3rd, he then proceeded to be all up the butt of the car in front of him, I mean all over his ass.

Why hasn't karma struck down this ass hole I don't know.

Re:How to start Em's day off right

[MagnetarJones]

I've been down to Atlanta for work a couple of times. The only part I disliked about all my trips down there was the traffic/driving.... I noticed that the people who drive in Florida have a tendency to STOP and wait for openings at the end of ramps that merge onto major highways rather than getting up to speed and merging.

Ahhh... Mag you'll love this: one word: Minivan

[llamalicious]

Ok, now, driving @ Carousel Center (for roaming /.ers, that's in Syracuse, NY... it's soon to be Destiny USA)

Me and Scuba (a co-worker, name's a long story) were leaving a lunchtime @ hooters, going out the backway. You know, around past Lord and Taylor, towards Solar St.
(Observers: there is a roadway that runs all the way around the mall. In most places it's two lanes, in both directions... with turn-ins to different areas of the outdoor parking all around the mall. No lights, stop signs or otherwise in most of these areas... so it's fend-for-yourself.)

Anyhow, I'm driving on the inside lane, towards Solar St. directly to the left of the minivan mentioned in the title. Maroon Dodge Sport, complete with the soccer mom. (Sorry to stereotype here... just an observation)

Here I am tooling around this fairly wide left-turn, again, in the left lane; when Scuba says, damn man, that van's drifting into our lane, and sure as shit, here she comes. I'm of course thinking, well, whatever, just cutting the curve too close... so I pull a little to the left... into oncoming traffic. (These lanes are all _very_ narrow.) Suddenly, this (thanks Em for the adjective :) football-fucking monkey of a driver decides to take a left-turn into a parking lot, from the RIGHT lane.

Needless to say, the only way that minivan was making that turn was _through_ my car. FUCK! you say. and yes, that's exactly what I said. Thank god no one was in oncoming traffic, I had to go across both oncoming lanes (almost a 90 degree turn) to avoid the collision, then do it all over to get back in my lane.

Luckily for me and my car that Scuba did _not_ soil his pants during the encounter... he swears I musta sanded off a spot of paint, cause he's sure there no way we could have missed getting nailed. Ahhh... Carmageddon reflexes to the rescue.

Would that I had a baseball bat with me... grrr.

Bonus for Magnetar: </rant>