The 12 hour breakup

Journal bellus quies's Journal: The 12 hour breakup 5

Journal by bellus quies on Thursday September 07, 2006 @04:23PM

Well, it took me a while to write about this. And thanks to everyone's comments in my last JE and for the supportive e-mails, sorry I haven't replied to any of them.

It turns out that at 2:30ish in the AM my boyfriend called leaving a voicemail saying that he wanted to talk. I woke up at 4am to find the message. Proceeding to the airport as planned, I end up getting my boyfriend on the phone when he called me during my layover in Houston. So while I'm sittin gin a hallway by the gate I listen to him tell me how much he misses me and that after talking things out with his dad and other people that he's decided to give the relationship another go at it. And follow my suggestion of the DVD seminar. Though talking with his dad he realised that he was letting the drama with his older sister and best friend cloud the issues in our relationship, as well as he has a habit of not wanting to tell people things he thinks will hurt them. So he let his frustrations build up until the boiling point of wanting to break things off. So he said that he will work on that.

The whole conversation was kinda odd in that,he was trying to make up with me, but he was th eone to break things off. It seems like it would normally be the other way around with the dumpee trying to mend things.

Anyways things are going a lot better. I've noticed that my boyfriend is much less defensive in discussions, a dramatic change it's like night/day. And he's more into the mode of solving things as a couple and coming to a compromise.

The thing is that the issue of commitment is still up in the air and he veres away form that topic whenever I bring it up. As I don't know where his commitment level is and if he's just going to break things off again after the DVD's are done and if he deems them to not have worked. That leaves me a bit uneasy. Breaking up sucked, and to have my heart torn from my chest only to have it handed back hours later...I don't want to have that happen again. I was the walking dead going to the airport that morning. And on my return trip I had those sad feelings resurface as I was walking through the same halls. Insomuch that I didn't want to go home when I got back to Austin. So I went to a local bar/grill and sat on t he patio drinking margaritas and reading waiting for him to get off work. So he got home, took care of the dog and walked over to where I was. We had a really good chat, talking for a couple of hours, then went to dinner at a new sushi place. And I was glad that I made the decision to not walk into the apartment without him, because I didn't want to connect the negative feelings that I had that previous night to the apartment. So walking in with him it didn't feel empty as it did when I left. Also it helped that when I was gone for the weekend he rearranged all the furniture in the living room, so it felt like a bit of a different apartment when I got back.

There are still things that we are working on. Like romantic gestures, as he spent the weekend hanging out with his little sister and had a better weekend with her than he ever took me out on a date with. So he agreed to give me an uber date weekend. And work on things because he did find it easier to do special things with his sisters because he doesn't see them too often, and since I'm everyday it's easy to fall into the habitual lazing in front of the TV and not going out.

It also helps that he's getting increasingly upset with his older sister and best friend. I think that anger will help him fuel his assertiveness and help him grow in that area and help him learn to maintain his boundaries better. He's pretty pissed off that they don't respect his decision of what person he chooses to be with.

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