Follow Slashdot stories on Twitter

 


Forgot your password?
Close
typodupeerror
×
User Journal

Journal bellus quies's Journal: Do you need to use the bathroom? 9

Journal by bellus quies

Ok, my boyfriend doesn't understand why I'm a bit insulted that his father asked us if we needed to use the bathroom before we went to the resturaunt last night.

Huh?!?

I have my Master's degree and Professional registration in Civil Engineering and someone asks me if I need to pee?!? Ya I take that as someone treating me as a child. Even my BF's mom did a double take and glared at her husband a bit after he said that one. And I didn't say anything at the time in respect for my boyfriend. But fuck! I'm not a kid, don't treat me like one.

It makes me wonder how my BF doesn't see that as a problem that his own father treats him like he's still 10. He just shrugs it off as "oh it's just dad". Whatever, anyones dad won't learn if you don't bring it to their attention. I would have told off my mother or father if they had asked me that question. It's not just that it's his dad treating me like a child it;s that anyone would treat me like a child when I'm an adult, I deserve more respect than that and I will stand up for myself.

Like how yesterday my BF's dad shows up to our apartment unannounced and my boyfriend has to tell me while I'm in the shower so that I don't come out naked in front of his parents. Well I wouldn't if they had enough courtesy to call in advance. And my boyfriend didn't even question his parents about that, and it was that he didn't even think of it until I brought it up.

People will treat you like they always have unless you let them know that it's not OK anymore. My boyfriend doesn't get this concept.

This discussion has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

Do you need to use the bathroom? More

Do you need to use the bathroom?

Comments Filter:
  • Man, what a great question. That is hilarious! So much material to work with... of course the whole car ride would need to be peppered with "Daaad are we theere yet?" type questions, and some judicious leg-crossing and bouncing near the end of the car-ride...

    I wasn't there, so please forgive me if I'm way off base with this suggestion -- but sometimes there are ways to communicate the impropriety of a comment without either pretending it didn't happen & simmering, or exploding in indignation. I find
    • Ya I might have teased at it a bit if there wasn't the addition of my BF's sister acting the ice queen that evening and not talking to anyone but her parents.

      But his dad's a bit of the absent minded professor type. And I'm not sure he would have picked up on the humor. So I've talked about it to my BF and let him know that next time I'm going to tactfully let his father know that "D, I don't mean to be rude however, I'm an adult and I don't need to be reminded to use the facilities."
  • Maybe he's complacent- comfortable with status quo and doesn't want to rock the boat.

    That's a problem. A big one.
    • ya, I agree it's a big one in that mt BF is so non-confrontational that it takes something REALLY big to get him to talk to someone about it.

      I even asked my BF a what if... what if you're 44 and your father asks you if you need to pee...what then? He says he doesn't know. But me, I talk to my mom when she sends me anti-gay and Mormon propaganda and let her know that I don't appreciate it and please not to send it again. But my BF would most likely not say a thing. (Except my BF venting to me telling me
    • I've been refraining from commenting too much in BQ's journal's here, because, for the most part, I agree with her BF.

      My mom still asks that before we go out (the peeing thing). It's a parent thing. I also think it's an "aversion to using public toilets" thing, as well. Mostly though, I bet it's just habit. A 20+ year habit that was never broken. It's not malicious, just silly. Next time she asks, just say, "No. I was rather looking forward to peeing in the booth at the restaurant."

      My family (even th
  • The showing up unannounced, I see as a problem. This is not just a problem because it is his parents doing it, but is a problem when anyone does it to anyone else. That is just rude, and is frankly why a lot of my interaction with friends happens at neutral locations such as restaurants, because I know people for whom the social grace of calling ahead is foreign, and as a result I do not want them knowing where I live. That sounds horribly unsocial of me, but showing up unannounced is one of my bigges
    • you have to pick your battles and not sweat the small stuff; my personality is such that I would deem this "small stuff."

      I think it was some dumb 'inspirational' poster which said, "1) Don't sweat the small stuff. 2) It's ALL small stuff"

      BQ, I wish I could help you out on this one. I'm afraid it's something we all have to go through. What you are going through is very real, obviously, but it is, in the end, 'small'. You need to be greater than that. What you are dealing with is testing you. There is a
    • Don't worry, I don't take offense at your comment. I do appreciate your insight. IT is one of the smaller things and right now there are many other things that overshadow this small irritant.

      But I do see how things can be in the future. With examples like how my mom in her 50's will allow her mother to tell her what to do like a child. As recently as this weekend when my mom was going to drive up to my sister with some furniture from the garage to furnish her new apartment. But my grandmother didn't wa
      • Your BF in general seems to be real big on the "if it's customary then it's legitimate" thing. As you know, I loathe the phrase, "oh, that's just..." because ya wouldn't be bringing it up if didn't matter to ya, which, mattering and all has already established non-triviality, i.e., that it's NOT "just" anything. In my experience, it is an approach that is meant as a passive-aggressive way to dismiss a subject without having the balls to say the truth.

        What is somebody trying to imply when they say that? "It

Slashdot Top Deals

Congratulations! You are the one-millionth user to log into our system. If there's anything special we can do for you, anything at all, don't hesitate to ask!

Close