This reminds me of the old story that got around, supposedly about a Wordperfect support call. It went something like:
Caller: Your software broke my computer!
WP: Okay, what happened?
Caller: The screen has gone black and the computer won't do anything.
WP: Can you take a look around the back of the computer and makes sure the cables are all securely plugged in?
Caller: Okay, I'll need to get a torch.
Caller: It's dark, I can't see, the power is off.
WP: Do you still have the packing for your computer?
WP: Please pack your computer up and send it back. You're too stupid to use a computer.