A "4"? That's it? That is the geek reward for a truly committed relationship? Wow.
This is so basic to a marriage -- or any such long-term bond -- that I find it extraordinary that it got only a "4" for "Insightful".
OMG, /. people: do you realize what this says about you? It says you don't trust anyone with the essential truth of your life. That is so sad.
My mate and I have living wills. We can choose when to "pull the plug" (or not) for each other. What kind of superficial relationship can you have that are less trusting than that?
I watch porn. (She doesn't.) I have close, sometimes emotionally intimate email correspondence with other women. She could at any moment choose to eavesdrop on those. So what?
She is my best friend and I am hers. We don't have secrets, except the birthday-surprise kind, and as "gnick" says, that's easy: just say "It's secret, don't look."
The biggest reason we don't usually have sex with other people is that it isn't something we could share easily. That doesn't mean we are joined at the hip, it just means never having to worry about being truthful. (And by the way, we haven't always been totally monogamous, just very out front, so that sexual straying isn't a secret, and doesn't mean betrayal.)
Being vulnerable to one another is a kind of freedom, and mutual trust is essential to such vulnerability.
And that score of "4" is a sign of someone living so tightly inside their shell that no one else can ever get in. By those standards, this post should get a "1".
