Try Gizmo. It's a SIP-based alternative that works quite well.
I agree. I see nothing in Title 18, Part 1, Chapter 47 that suggests "it is officially a crime to steal wifi". The law was specifically written to delineate what constitutes fraud if a "protected computer" of the United States government, a financial institution or a computer involved in interstate or foreign commerce is accessed. In each case, the law is violated not only by intentionally accessing the computer, but also by obtaining information.
Does access to a computer even occur? Access through a router to the public Internet does not automatically mean we determined a computer's IP address on the local network, cracked whatever protection was present, and accessed information on it.
How long does it take a DEC field service engineer to change a lightbulb? It depends on how many bad ones he brought with him.