Sadly, that's the problem with Netgear; the only thing good about the R7000 is (was?) the hardware. Security holes asside, I experienced wifi stability problems with FW 1.05 and 1.06 (I had to downgrade to 1.04 each time). And I was only using it as a WIFI bridge! Ok, I was running stuff that was super sensitive to packet drops but still... I can't imagine how many bugs there was with all the features turned on. The fact that they are now collecting analytics does not surprise me; it is likely that they retained that solution to try improve the quality of their software.

It's difficult to seek help when you're ashamed of your feelings. And honestly, people like you make things worst. Nobody is an "egoistic coward" for feeling sucidial. It is just natural to keep searching for happiness and ways to relieve your pain. It doesn't mean that the solutions you're considering are the best, but it doesn't mean you're a coward either.

The danger of culpabilizing a suicidal person is that it is probably the main reason why people kill themselves without telling a word to anybody. When something gets really difficult to admit, you tend to keep it for yourself. And one day, it is going to be too late: you feel the urge to relieve the pain now, on the spot: you've had enough for far too long. And this urge is so strong that you won't think of all the possible consequences: this is what we call a suicide crisis.

Don't be a part of the problem: help to prevent suicide. Please.