I am gonna die. (Score 1)

Global warming is flooding the planet, tropical diseases are spreading, cell phones are causing brain tumors and SUV accidents, high voltage power lines are causing leukemia in children and birth defects in cows, global cooling is bringing another ice age, killer bees are coming, fire ants are coming, kudzu will cover the South completely, Robert Byrd will pave over West Virginia completely, the ozone hole will give us all skin cancer and cataracts, excess UV light gives frogs excess limbs, chemical pollution gives frogs extra limbs, global warming gives frogs extra limbs, parasites give frogs extra limbs, genetic engineering will create a new supervirus that will kill us all and then give frogs extra limbs, all food gives you cancer and heart disease, the Doomsday clock ticks
slowly towards midnight, we have only ten years to save the oceans, you are all gonna die, and all your children are gonna die ... eventually. This is all true because I heard the reporters say that some scientists said it was true, and you don't get research grants by saying the weather is fine.