Welcome to my brief cathartic rant.
I woke up one day, not so very long ago, looked in the mirror, and realized I had turned a little rotten. It's not a good feeling. I realized that I need to take a step back, reflect, and readjust.
My priorities got mixed up somehow. In my zeal to indulge my interests, I lost sight of the big picture. I haven't read a good book in years. Who has the time? There are too many HOWTO's, manuals, and newsgroups to read. I've become overly concerned with my own mortality. With the finite limits of a finite lifespan.
I have three small children. The oldest is five. In their world, I am god. I am their teacher, and their moral compass. I am not worthy.
My life has become rife with responsibility. Aging parents above, children below. I'm someone's husband. My work responsibilities are genuine and significant. The thing I'm coming to terms with, is that the more important I've become, the less important I've become. My priorities cannot be my priorities.
The demands on my time have made me unduly preoccupied with my personal passions. I need to let go. I need to relax. I stay up too late, trying to maintain my interests, too tired to do them justice. And sometimes I become bitter and frustrated. Full of self-pity. Jealous.
Looking at the whole of my life, this is stupid. I have a good life. An excellent life. So, to borrow an idiom, I'm turning over a new leaf. I am going to relax. I am going to read a good book. I'm not going to vault to stardom next week, and that's o.k. If you think I sound like a middle aged wet blanket, well, you're right. I am. I'm giving my ambitions a rest, taking an early retirement from the concerns of Slashdot, and focusing a little more attention on other things.
Keep things in perspective.