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Journal tuxette's Journal: yeah, whatever 20

Third interview done with and over and it was shit. I basically got the impression that the guy does not want to hire a woman. He was too hung up on my being a samboer (live-in partner), too hung up on my lack of experience in certain specific areas, too hung up on my being female in a male-dominated profession, etc. He basically looked for everything negative he could. And each time I tried to say something/defend myself, I was abruptly cut off. He just seemed annoyed the whole time, as if he did't want to be there. Which made me feel stupid trying to be positive and cheerful. It seems like the only thing I have going for me is that I know how to use Linux. But I doubt that's enough.

Whatthefuckever.

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yeah, whatever

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  • Don't give up yet. I think the fact that you got to the third round of interviews says that your application is a strong one. When will you know about the decision?

    Maybe he was having a bad day or he was simply trying to see how you handle yourself in a stressful and frustrating situation: are you going to cave in or are you going to headbutt him with the spikes? I know it's not the same thing, but when I interview potential PhD students, I like to provoke them by commenting on some uncharacteristically

    • When will you know about the decision?

      Supposedly sometime next week. The sooner the better. I just want it all to be done and overwith.

      Maybe he was having a bad day or he was simply trying to see how you handle yourself in a stressful and frustrating situation: are you going to cave in or are you going to headbutt him with the spikes? I know it's not the same thing, but when I interview potential PhD students, I like to provoke them by commenting on some uncharacteristically poor grade or their lack of

      • *hug*

        Hope this helps. [google.com] I think they're cute!

        Don't let that guy bother you too much, he's just a jerk and doesn't know how to react around normal people (or penguins as it is in your case). Hope things turn out in your favor! :-)

      • combined with his attempt at trying to say/hint that you can't combine the job and a (family) life really hits a nerve

        wow, okay... i don't think you'd want to work there in the first place. If this is the attitude they permit then I would run, not walk, away from any company that hires people that could foster this thinking (enough so to express it in a *third* interview).

        Here in the US, there are topics that are NOT allowed to be even hinted at in a job interview. Sexual orientation, social/family statu
        • Sexual orientation, social/family status, medical conditions

          I think it's much less regulated here.

          While I was still a student and applied for a summer programming job an interviewer scoffed at me for having been relieved from our compulsory military service for health reasons (=asthma). Didn't get that job...

          Also not having your social status (married, single, divorced) in your CV is a sure way to guarantee that it'll be asked in a job interview.

          Personally, I'd like more regulation in this matter.

        • Here in the US, there are topics that are NOT allowed to be even hinted at in a job interview. Sexual orientation, social/family status, medical conditions. In fact, all of the interviews I've ever been on, have been actually really very cold and devoid of anything resembling human conversation (which, for a job interview, that's what I want).

          Interviews here are usually friendly, and seem more geared towards who you are as a person, and perhaps a test of real motivation for wanting the job, than what you

          • I prefer the US way. The only thing that should matter is your ability to do the job.

            Ideally the interviews should be done over the phone with a voice modulator and so you can't discriminate by sex only a number should be used or we should all change names to Pat or Chris or other sexually duplicitous names. OK maybe I went a bit too far there? I was turned down for a job, that I seemed ideally suited for, because (and the hiring person told me this) I looked too young. Had I been the suing type I probably

            • The only thing that should matter is your ability to do the job.

              What if your ability to do the job involves things like not being in a situation where you have to run home every time your kiddie has a cold or something?

              • That's still not allowed to be relevant in the US.

                Even so most people seem to be able to work around it (have spouse/partner run home, have relative provide daycare, etc.).

                Beyond that even if you don't have children there are any number of things that can distract someone from work and require sudden mid-day departures. Dealing with aging parents, brother/sister having a crisis, marrages/partnerships breaking up, buying a house, etc. If anything these situations are far more disruptive than a co-worker de
          • Even if a potential employer thinks you might have children soon I've found it really isn't a big deal.

            The assumption is most women in a professional career field will return to work fairly quickly after they have a baby.

            If anything most companies in the US are all too happy to hire a qualified woman for programming or system administration postitions because it can help show that they don't discriminate based on gender.

            Job hopping in the high-tech world in the US is so rampant anyway that most companies
            • The assumption is most women in a professional career field will return to work fairly quickly after they have a baby.

              Over here, you get a year of paid maternity leave, mandated by law. So I can understand how it can be a problem for this company.

              As for other companies, I could try IBM, but never Accenture. I know people who used to work there, and not one has anything nice to say about that company.

              • Over here, you get a year of paid maternity leave, mandated by law. So I can understand how it can be a problem for this company.

                You don't have to take it if you don't want to, do you?

                I've seen women who didn't even take the meager amount of unpaid or even paid maternity leave that most US companies offer.

                Presumably if you like your job you probably want to keep doing it (not to mention some new parents find work a welcome break every day).

                In any case assuming you don't plan on having children the best
      • Supposedly sometime next week.

        I, for one, am rooting for you. Don't give up hope.

        But do you give them a chance to explain and/or defend themselves? This guy kept making snide comments and rudely interrupted every time I opened my beak.

        No, not really. I don't have the heart to press anyone that hard.

        Anyway, it's very good to hear that you kept your cool in the interview. A crying penguin would have only served to "confirm" this guy's sexist preconceptions and an enraged penguin would have labelled yo

        • No, not really. I don't have the heart to press anyone that hard.

          Ok. Should have previewed that.

          Of course I let them reply (what's the point in my question if I don't?). I don't have the heart to press anyone so hard that I wouldn't let them explain.

        • I think the basic problem is that they need someone who is going to be dedicated to the job for a certain time frame, and they're afraid that as a 30-something female who lives with her male partner, I'll start breeding and bail on them the moment they can't fire me unless I'm embezzling or running an illegal P2P server from my office or something. Which is one of the reasons why I wish they could ask directly, so that I could set the record straight. It's not one of those things you can really bring up on
      • ... they think I'm going to get knocked up the moment I sign the contract ...

        FWIW, I have never met a woman in her twenties/early thirties something with a university degree applying for a job in Sweden who has not got that question. I have never met a ditto man who has. It's just one of those things they ask/are told to ask. There is no answer, of course, except possibly to stare the questioner straight into his (it's always his) eyes and coldly state that you don't plan to have children for at least a

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