turg's Journal: I missed a chance to visit Ethelred (I mean "pay homage to")

I got a call from my main client at 10 am this morning (Friday). They need someone to be in Berlin for six days starting Monday. They're really stuck and if I can't do it then they haven't got anyone.

Darn. My passport just expired. Phone passport office to see how fast they work when you pay for emergency service. They can do it on time.

Meanwhile I've been checking flights on the web. If I extend the trip to include a Saturday night stay, I can fly for as little as $550. Otherwise, it's going to be $5700 at this late date. By the time I'm done talking to the passport office, I've got an e-mail back from the client that yes they'd rather put me up in the hotel for a couple extra nights than have me charge them ten times as much for the flight.

Now all I have to do is get together the necessary stuff for my passport application. First thing on the list is: Birth Certificate.

Hm. I think the last time I saw the birth certificate was 5 years ago when I last filled out a passport application. We've moved since then. I have no idea where it is.

Long story short: My wife and I spent four hours going through every place a piece of paper could be. Pulled all the boxes out of the basement, went through all the files, etc., etc., etc. Went through the house top to bottom. It's not here.

Check the Registrar General's web site. The fastest I can get a birth certificate is two days.

Call the passport office back. There's no way to get the passport without an original proof of citizenship, which for me would be a birth certificate.

By now it was mid-afternoon (on Friday, of course) and if I've got to bail, I'd better do it soon.

sigh. And they would have paid me the same amount in EUR that they otherwise would pay me in CAD. That would have been a okay Christmas bonus.

That sucks

[winkydink]

In the US all you need is your previously expired passport to get a new one.

Re:

[turg]

Canadian passports cannot be renewed. You apply from scratch every time. (Though, of course, you have to surrender the old one if it hasn't expired yet)

Re:

[(H)elix1]

Need a proxy? I'm more than happy to fly out and meet with your client (grin). Have passport, will travel.

Re:

[Ethelred Unraed]

Hah! You would not fool me, pretending to be turg!

I mean, aside from not having a clue what either of you look like.

Cheers,

Ethelred

Re:

[(H)elix1]

Keep trying to get a gig in your general direction. Last time ended up working with the Düsseldorf and Munich clients in Bangalore.... argh! You are on my beer list... (Turg is too, but fate will make sure it is a very cold week in January before that happens)

Re:

[turg]

Don't you remember the photo contest? I'm your stunt double.

Re:

[ces]

Sounds like a bit of the British 'jobsworth'-ness you occasionally see creep into the Canadian Civil Service and/or bureaucracy.

The difference is in Canada it usually results in being somewhat annoying and inconvenient rather than rising to the truly Kafkaesque proportions it does in the UK.

Re:

[turg]

Well the passport office itself works very well. It's a "special operating agency." Sorta like they've been spun off. They are entirely self-funded (by the fees they charge) and so they are driven to work efficiently the way that a private business would be (and they have a lot more autonomy to make their own decisions like a business would). But they don't make the regulations, they just follow them.

The solution is obvious

[Ethelred Unraed]

I'll whip up an Ethelredian Imperial Birth Certificate for you.

If they refuse to accept it, remind them of the consequences. (Be creative. That's what I do.)

Cheers,

Ethelred

Re:

[turg]

Well, it's not that they just want evidence that I was born -- they want evidence that it happened in Canada. They seem to think that only a birth certificate issued by a province or territory of Canada constitute such evidence.

Re:

[Ethelred Unraed]

Well, it's not that they just want evidence that I was born -- they want evidence that it happened in Canada.

Ah, but Ethelredian Imperial Birth Certificates naturally have your place of birth written on them.

In fact, for a modest fee,* your place of birth can be anywhere you want it to be.

Cheers,

Ethelred

* - Which varies depending on how desperate you are and in what kind of mood I'm in.