I thought cicadas weren't due back until 2021?

HVDs, with the size of a DVD and a storage capacity of 6TB, would like to speak with you.

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays.

Now they'll create freaking anti-sharks to attach these to.

You're not fooling anyone. It's a purse.

You live in Yakutat, Alaska?

It can finally stand up by itself.

For a few months, I used to be a quasi-famous 19th century Negro League baseball player according to Wikipedia. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of referring to my agent, teammates, etc. as the characters from Field of Dreams, A League of Their Own, and so on. When the Wikipedia mods caught on to my shenanigans, they were not impressed.

Two-dimensional, eh? One more than usual.

You think you have it bad? I live in Australia. Every page redirects to www.australia.gov.au/propaganda

You think you have it bad? I don't even have the internets, you insensitive clod!