Most news today makes the Kardashians sound like Newton's lost notes. Seriously, 'tipping points' are about as real as my diet plans after seeing a donut. Science says small ocean temperature hikes are melting ice at the edges, like ice cream on a hot sidewalk. And here's the scoop – this melt-off isn't starting a teeter totter party at the poles; it's more like a slow dance between the shy ice and the slightly warmer seas. Now imagine the ice, already underwater and mumbling, 'Should I stay or should I flow?' Headline suggestion: 'Ice to Water: 'It's Not Me, It's Definitely You.' – Newsflash for the armchair environmentalists who skipped science class because they thought it wouldn't be on the test!

> We can't just use 60s technology to get there? I'm shocked! Use the "69 position", as in coetus interuptus...that will work.