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Journal the_mad_poster's Journal: I AM IN A PISSY MOOD 13

Journal by the_mad_poster

No rant for you, but I shall attempt to entertain you none-the-less by cruelly harpooning people that aren't me.

What I Did Today

While I was cleaning out the back room (I threw out about 250 pounds of obsolete technical books), my idiot neighbor decided it would be a great idea to play a bunch of shitty "modern alt rock" (read: that fagtastic shit they play on the radio all the time that some no-talent, ball-less hack dressed like some sort of psuedo-tough-guy whipped up on an expenseive studio board while he screamed unentertainingly into the microphone) at a moderately high volume.

Being a normal, healthy, well-adjusted member of society, I ignored it. However, on my way out, I decided to spray the bushings under the front of my car with some WD-40 because I've been meaning to do that ever since it started "groaning" and snapping when I brake or turn. On the way back out, this time with the WD-40 can, I had the brilliant idea, if I may say so myself, to give his doorknob a nice, hearty coating.

Fuck right, motherfucker, I'm a goddamn asshole.

Realized, yet again, that people and cars don't mix

Fucking idiots can't drive, it's really that simple. People in SUVs willfully fail it because they're cumchugging assholes, everyone else fails it because they're fucking morons. If I get roared up on by one more fatass bitch soccer mom in an Explorer, trying to rip out of one lane of stopped traffic into another lane of stopped traffic....

I think it should be legal to shoot people in SUVs, as well as minivans and truck drivers. I put minivans in there because guys drive them and feel (rightly) emasculated that they're driving an automobile that slaps "my wife has my balls in a jar on the kitchen counter" on their foreheads, so they try to compensate by driving their Windstar (or whatever the fuck it's called these days) like it's their '73 455 Trans Am. They utterly fucking fail because minivans were built to be driven by pansies, but whatever.

An amusing anecdote. I was sitting in traffic when some idiot in a "suped up" S2000 got next to me and starting revving his engine.

I guess I was supposed to be intimidated, but consider the picture here. I'm in one lane, this guy is in the other, we're both stopped because traffic is at a standstill for at least a mile and a half.

What the fuck? What, you want to hit the shoulder and race you stupid faggot? Go for it, I'll help identify your body when that flimsy piece of shit

At any rate, what really happened was this: I calmly rolled down my window, looked at him, and said, I shit you not:

"I'll race you on the track when you get a car that can produce enough torque to turn my lug nuts to spec, until then, go hit 'the pike' with your little toy to play with all the other little boys".

This did not go over well, and he shouted something back, but I was rolling up my window and couldn't hear it. When his line moved, he roared the engine, spun his tires, and.... hit the brakes because the fucking traffic stopped again.

Stupid shit.

Also, I would like to sign Real World Stuff's open letter to Adelphia. The fucking cable went out at 11:30 today and was out for about 5 hours. During any given year, my internet connection is out between 60 and 100 usable hours. Do they prorate the fucking bill? No, of course not. They "apologize" and bill me the same fucking amount as they would had they actually been providing half-decent service.

Fuckers.

One last thing I did today: sprayed a product all over my kitchen that specifically states that it is not to be used in an area where food is prepared.

So, hey, if I die tomorrow, you all know what happened.

I'm going to go watch Cabin Fever because zombies are much cooler than slashdot. Asta.

Edit
P.S. - Cabin Fever has nothing to with zombies. I feel sort of betrayed by allmovie.com which implicitly linked it with zombies by comparing it and contrasting it with not only 28 Days Later, but also Night of the Living Dead. Still, it was an okay movie, if it did seem like it wasn't really headed anywhere, and didn't really give the world-damning effect the ending apparently hoped to achieve.

This discussion was created by the_mad_poster (640772) for no Foes, but now has been archived. No new comments can be posted.

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I AM IN A PISSY MOOD

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  • cabin fever sucked overall but the shovel scene was cool. Also the dork getting shot down by the hotty was also good... Rest of it sucked. Ok the dog eating the hotty was cool too. Lets just say the Blond hotty was the best part of the movie.

  • I put minivans in there because guys drive them and feel (rightly) emasculated that they're driving an automobile that slaps "my wife has my balls in a jar on the kitchen counter" on their foreheads, so they try to compensate by driving their Windstar (or whatever the fuck it's called these days) like it's their '73 455 Trans Am. They utterly fucking fail because minivans were built to be driven by pansies, but whatever.

    Shit. We're about to get Kiddo II, and I'm starting to wonder about getting a new car.

    • We'll make an exception for you since you're a European, and you can't really effectively drive a big car around over there.

      Of course, maybe it's only the idiots that drive minivans like retards that are emasculated, because they had more testosterone than they deserved in the first place....
      • I'm a European? Dammit, I spent friggin' €35 on a six of American beer and hot dogs to celebrate the Fourth just to be called a friggin' European?

        Hey, I got the same Big Bird on my passport as you do (assuming you have one). Don't make me come over there and smack you upside the head with my Jefferson portrait.

        At any rate, yeah, parking's a bitch, so we may have no choice but to buy one of those damned things. I hate them with a passion, but I also hate circling for days looking for a parking spac

    • We got a '96 Ford Galaxy [timesonline.co.uk] just a few days ago. It's got the Volkswagen VR6 engine and seats seven comfortably. We lovess it.

      • Thanks for the tip. That's one I was vaguely thinking about, though I'm also thinking of something smaller, like the Honda Jazz.

        If parking weren't such a bitch, I'd get a station wagon -- maybe a used Volvo V70 or something. But parking space is at a premium where we live...

        It will be a while before we actually get around to buying a new car, though. We're still satisfied with our Rover 25 four-door hatchback for now, and I love the car so much that I'm reluctant to trade it in just yet. ;-)

        Cheers,

        • There's a whole bunch of smaller ones, the Opel (you might know it as Vauxhall) Zafira, Toyota Yaris Verso, Renault Megane Scenic and so on. All of them getting good reviews. But the main thing I found was to seek out and browse online forums of owner clubs -- they're usually very open about typical faults like the Voyager's and Megane's transmission failures. Good luck.
    • Eh. TMP is just a closeted SUV-lover overcompensating for his shame.
  • I was with my wife in our old unmodified Honda Civic EX. I forgot to put the damn thing into gear and when I tried to move up at a light it just revved the engine. Whoops, happens sometimes.

    This guy in a Mustang next to me looked at me, smiled, and shook his head.

    I just thought "How cute, the man with the small penis thinks I want to race him!"

  • When my internet goes down, I call tech support (1-800-ADELPHIA) and bitch. They'll prorate if you complain. If you sit back and say nothing (which seems VERY out of character for you) then you'll get screwed.

    -Ab

    ps. If you bitch, in addition to the prorated bill, they usually send a worthless coupon for a free pay-per-view (like I want to see any of that crap)
  • If I get roared up on by one more fatass bitch soccer mom in an Explorer, trying to rip out of one lane of stopped traffic into another lane of stopped traffic....

    I could really never figure this out. In very limited circumstances, it's probably a significant win to speed and zip around anyone going slower. If you're out on a Montana highway somewhere and you increase your speed by 10 MPH, you may have just knocked an hour off of your eight-hour drive. However, in the vast number of cases of people thr

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UNIX was not designed to stop you from doing stupid things, because that would also stop you from doing clever things. -- Doug Gwyn

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