The solution to both these problems is not for the FOX conn to unionize.
Actually, every Chinese worker is a member of the Chinese labor union, and the union does occasionally make demands. Remember that employers are capitalists who are allowed operate in a communist country, and though the national labor union doesn't demand the sort of living and working conditions we see in the US, you do not want your company being singled out as exceptionally exploitative of the worker.
That's why Foxconn is painting the suicides as driven by greed--as if the dead were taking advantage of the company's generosity. Foxconn is the world's largest OEM contract manufacturer. It's so damn huge and runs such tight margins that if the union demands even a slight increase in wages or living standards it would get hit harder than its competitors.
So now
Worth a shot...
"Hey, baby! Answer me this: What's the hardest thing known to man, and you can find lots of it way up in Uranus?"
*oof*
Preliminary trials performed on cartoon characters were mostly non-invasive, though results were mixed:
In late 2008, subject W. E. Coyote was admitted suffering from chronic headaches. MRIs of the patient's brain revealed several cancerous growths on surface of the cortex, likely caused by the subject's attempts to induce "X-ray vision" by applying ACME® 3-in-1 Shampoo & Conditioner & Radium to his scalp.
Researchers injected Mr. Coyote with the nano solution, then showed him a series of videos featuring a common ground-foraging bird simply running in circles at the top of a tall mesa.
After the videos, Mr. Coyote was presented with "gifts" from various charities: a hang glider, a butterfly net, and a gross of ACME® Brand Long-Distance Bottle Rockets. A moment after opening the last of the gifts, the subject raised one eyebrow, smirked, then clutched his temples and shrieked in pain before falling unconscious. MRI indicated that the glow of the patient's "idea light bulb" had been bright enough to activate the nano-solution. 70% of the tumor mass had been destroyed.
Unfortunately, soon after regaining consciousness the subject disappeared with his gifts, an electric wheelchair, and a half dozen bottles of Oxycontin.
"Here's my credit card number. So is my info in the database?"
"My database shows that your name and credit card have been compromised by scammers. I'm so sorry. For a small fee, we can secure your information for you..."
So viruses can cure cancer.
Well what about all those cancer drugs we have already? They'll just sit on the shelves!
No no, we can use them to treat alcoholism.
But what about all the booze!? Pour it down the drain?
No, of course not. We're going to re-brand alcoholic beverages as medication. We're investigating is usefulness in treating social anxiety. While our trials are still in progress, the initial data looks very promising. We've also patented a time-release delivery system. With any hope, we'll have millions of people prescribed daily doses of the new wonder drug.
Excellent!
Oh why don't you malware like you used to do?
Spread Conficker like you used to spew?
I haven't patched my OS since two-thousand-two,
Why don't you malware like you used to do?
Ain't had no Clamwin, or a firewall, or an update in a long long whiiiiiiile.
Can't get to Google or WinUpdate cuz they've hijacked my gosh darn hosts fiiiiile.
Oh why don't you scan ports like you used to do?
Treat my pendrive like a prostitute?
Haven't BSoDed in a day or two,
So why don't you malware like you used to do?
When are we going to drop this rouge nonsense and adopt universal standards?!?
What's the emergency?
It's mauve.
Mauve?
Universally recognized color for danger.
What happened to red?
That's just humans. By everyone else's standards, red's camp. Oh, the misunderstandings! All those red alerts, all that dancing.
"We have met the enemy, and he is us."
All your files have been destroyed (sorry). Paul.