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Comment Let me run Microsoft's ad campaign (Score 1) 220

I'll easily double their ever-bland 20-30ish stock price in a year's time. Their marketing and business teams are lacking the necessary intuition. Apple seems to have pulled themselves together, which leaves Microsoft hemorrhaging customers.

When the Right Guy climbs up, sticks his head above the crowd and yells HERE, NOW, will the onlookers notice in time before he's sucked back into the everyone else's monotony?

Comment Re:Multidimensional Pizza (Score 1) 282

If your pizza is moving, proceed to remove undesired four-dimensional byproducts by applying the simple addition formula of N=N+M to the Fusion Carboning Unit. The internal Dark Matter Inverse Horizon Thermal Generator will break down any lingering four-dimensional metamaterial into a convenient three-dimensional Newtonian Matter Matrix, suitable for human consumption. One should first exercise caution due to the intense but short thermal radiation half-life resulting from the applied phase change.

Misuse of the DMITH-G can result in irreversible energy loss within the nano-material makeup caused by excessively stripping baseline particles from their respective fields. This adverse condition most notably reveals brittle carbon deposits.

If you are unfamiliar with the controls of the DMITH-G, simply turn the Knuth-o-Matic dial to the desired integer range of time. The highest setting is 5, however the manufacturer recommends a setting between 2 and 3.

Comment Wow this skill actually put to practical use? (Score 1) 282

I'm no nerd but I do put pride into a perfectly crisped pizza from the pizza oven, and the well designed slices to serve said pizza. Here goes:

Standard Issue:
Serves 1-3, Hungry
- Standard 8 or 12 slice cut through center. Pull every other slice back half an inch to achieve fast heat dissipation. 1-2 minutes cooling time for sensitive mouths. 12 slices for faster eating.

Bring It On:
Serves 1-2, Real Hungry
- Standard 6-slice cut. Serve immediately. Eat at own risk.

Bar Food:
Serves 1-4, Real Hungry
- Standard 16 slice squares (4x4). Triangle pieces cool fastest for snacking.

Engineer's Special:
Serves 2-6, Variable, Real Hungry
- Hybrid, and personal Best Design. Quarter-cut (even 4 slices), stripe another through the center (now 6 slices). Cut the remaining 2 quarters into square quarters. Fast, uncomplicated, and extremely useful when there's no time for "how hungry?" questions (party/group/meeting/etc). Drop-n-serve. At 4+ people be immediately ready to throw in a second pizza.

Pentagram Pizza:
Serves 6+, Hungry
- The ultimate party pizza: Pentagram Pizza. Literally cut the pizza into a pentagram shape. The edges will then need to be halved with a stripe to the center without crossing into the pentagon center. Proceed to preach loudly (and convincingly) about how evil the center piece is (each layer is individually more evil than the last, so you can imagine how evil the center is, etc), then commit blasphemy when numerous people are standing around suspiciously eying that last, large, delicious looking sacred slice, by eating it yourself. Heresy!! This only works once btw.

Comment Re:Buy them a Mac (Score 1) 932

Funny thing is, this is the canned response of any mac fanboy. How much does a new mac cost? How much does replacing paid-for software cost? What happens later when your user(s) is(are) complaining about compatibility? Do you say "'just' buy this software, and you'll be ok!"

Apple built themselves a shiny money pit in the name of security/stability - which is more of a fanboy-guarded white lie. I use a macbook pro intensely, every day, and am glad to be back on my smooth, insanely fast, stable XP machine at night.

Instead of burning a few thousand hard-earned dollars on an entirely new platform with an all-new learning curve, multiplied by X users, perhaps try:
- VMware running XP, with one-button backup states
- MS SteadyState
- Maybe 70 bux on a backup software solution to DVDs
- Use System Restore! This is your upfront one-click ass-saver in most situations.
- Software that tracks registry changes, allows backup, restore, stepping, etc.
- Maybe configure XP or win7 correctly upon first install, instead of handing off the newborn system in its initial highly adaptable state.

The difference between OSX and Win, is under OSX you're condescendingly told what to do and how you will do it, and if you don't, you will answer to the Daemons of BEESDEE, in a realm of slashes and killing, mice are just white roaches, dumping cores in bitbuckets through a series of pipes, all while your feeble commands must be heard by the god Sudo. Whereas in Win you can do what you want, right away. If you want to run a secure system, make it happen. If you have other intentions, make it happen, it's your show. Not every computing scenario requires dropping a computer on the internet upon system birth and measuring up it's ability to handle an attack.

Buy a mac! Everyone can! Because everyone has thousands of dollars to throw gobs of money at the problem until it's fixed. Or, accomplish the same end goal with minimal costs, while maintaining a familiar environment.

Cost effective solutions, not fanboyism!

Comment Phear This (Score 1) 807

Few people would try to make valid counterpoints, due to lack of experience on either/both sides of the track. This is what you need to know.

Negative effects:
- Loss of consequence.
- Transitive zombiesque infectiousness.
- Linearization of ambitions and capabilities.
- Dependency of vacated psychological checkpoints.
- Vague recklessness.

The first point defines the slick ice that forms under ones' mental inertia. Are you even going anywhere? If not, gaining any traction to move forward is very difficult. If already in motion (i.e. actively stimulating the brain, like work or research), the velocity persists. However, changing pace is not within control.

The second point describes the overall growing, widespread usage. The "One Of US" mentality dominates upon infection. The host procures the spread, or fights for survival of the infection. Examples - Procuring is the tantalizing mellow offering to mailable kids, even by mockery. Survival is hating on this post.

The third point recognizes that any decision made post-smoking is now short-sighted and mostly executed through thick tunnel-vision. "Factors" and "details" are usually no longer considered. Steps 1 to 3 have been reduced to steps 1 (Do it) and 2 (it just gets done, or doesn't).

The fourth point reflects the perceived necessity of perpetually operating in this mode. Some will call this an addiction, but it's actually a derivative of fear - sociological atrophy occurs, leaving a person unable to handle patience (without smoking), or making fast decisions with many variables in the balance (without smoking).

The fifth quantifies the overall de-prioritization given to anything that doesn't support the infection. Smoking around toddlers - sure, they seem happy! Let's talk about something, but don't worry it won't matter in the next..minute. Do something bold and crazy! Now you're on youtube or maybe even holding a Darwin. Attempting to become a meaningful pothead is like crowd-surfing. What could go wrong?

Final note, fuck those retarded "above the influence" ads. Here's a slogan even the hippies can relate to:

Be free. We are not.

Put the dank down, then try to live the same life. But the infected must survive.

Comment Re:Urban Terror (Score 1) 205

Urban Terror has a long history, and above all has matured. It's extremely fast, balanced, frowns on camping, level design and texture detail quality continue to increase (this is the q3 engine remember). 3rd party development is growing once again. Experimental visual features are being tested, like bump maps and reflective water. Community support is welcoming and professional to the n00bs and experienced.

Comment Sounds great, for now (Score 1) 68

The idea seems great to the business sharks. Unfortunately what's going to happen is there will be a burst period where every development studio jumps on the pay for content bandwagon in a frenzy, then the whole model collapses when consumer faith craters due to wasting money on worthless content. Like levels that are already included on a disk. Or requiring players to spend roughly $150 to get less game than if they paid $60 on the exact same game years before.

The era will happen, but it will be short, and bring us closer to the bubble collapse of the game industry. Ooooo dooomsayerrrr.

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