I agree that situations where a technology that is unavailable to everyone can make things unfair and less exciting. The problem with requiring everyone to use the same gear, though, is that there are variables that have to be able to be accounted for. For instance, in cycling one major decision is which gears you put on your bike for a given race. Some people are better with bigger gears, and some smaller gears. Forcing everyone to use the same ones would put people at a disadvantage. Similarly with cross-country skiing, the specifics of how skis are waxed have a lot to do with snow conditions. Especially in races where participants start at different times, each racer need to be able to make that decision on their own. There's certainly a difference when everyone *could* wax their skis the same, though, and proprietary tech. But if I suddenly come up with a new way of waxing that seems better, using the same tools and the same wax, do I suddenly have to tell everyone? Most people, I think, would say no. So it gets hard to draw the line between innovation and unfairness.

Could someone just make me a program for my iBook monitor that makes it looks like its degaussing, and makes the funny sound? I

Actually, seeing as the term engineer is also used by train engineers (who I'm sure you wouldn't consider worthy of such a title given the typical, apologies to those not as arrogant, elitest engineering attitude) who are responsible for keeping a train running and on time and all this would be a a truly fitting title in all truthfullness. Simply extend the metaphor, to a network setting and it works just as well. A derailed network is not a pretty sight.
Though I'm still not sure if you're joking or you think the topic is a joke to begin with...