Journal singularity's Journal: On being in high school... 1
Being in high school has to be one of the worst things in the world. I know, as I speak from experience.
Sure, adults will tell you that it is "the best time of your life." That is hardly reassuring to the normal high school student - that means that it is all downhill from where they find themselves, an already unimaginable low.
I do not think most adults realize what it is like to be a high school student these days. Society, teachers, parents, and peers put an ungodly amount of pressure and stress on the normal American high school student. High school is no longer a time to develop from the unsocial, young 8th. grade student into a still-maturing adult. Rather it is expected of students to already know what the real world is all about and what they will need to succeed in this foreign land.
I am sure that high school students will read this and point how wrong I must be. I have no idea what I am talking about. I cannot see the world from their eyes.
They are correct with these statements. I am not in their shoes. I do not know what they are going through. My observations come from my own personal experiences, growing every more dated every day, and my observations and conversations with the students I work with. I still consider myself an advocate on their behalf, even if they do not see me as being able to see what they do.
I have gone from the high school student promising "No adult sees things the way I do. When I get older, I will remember. I will remember what it is like. I will be different." to the substitute teacher. I am the Resident Counselor. I am the adult. I am on the other side. I have grown up, and it has changed me.
I think, however, that I still hold to that promise I made myself so many years ago. I may not remember exactly what it is like, but I retain a much better idea of what it is like than most people my age. It is very possible that my career choice is a direct result of that promise I made myself so many years ago. I remember being that high school student who felt he was being unfairly punished, who felt that no one understood what was going on, who felt the entire world, or at least the aspects he saw, were all against him.
So what is it like being in high school these days?
Everything revolves around college applications. That C you pulled on your math exam? That might bring down your grade for the semester and, in the end, possibly keep you out of the A-list schools. That little "stunt" you pulled in the chemistry lab that got you written up? You might end up suspended, which is seen as the "death sentence" for ever getting into an Ivy League school. The SATs and all accompanying tests, are stressed so highly as determining what you do "for the rest of your life."
Think about that for a minute. What sort of things do you do as an adult that require three hours and, according to everyone (right or wrong), determine what you do and how well you do it FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE?
Think about that...
So you take a teenager, only a few years out of 8th. grade, and you tell him or her that the smallest actions they make will make all of the difference in their future. These actions will have severe repercussions for the rest of their life. Ultimately, these actions will determine their happiness for the rest of their lives.
A parent leaves the high school student thinking that the happiness of the parents and of the rest of the family are riding on the student's college acceptances. After all, the parents have been working with the child their entire life for that one "test."
Failure is not an option.
Then we will enter peers. Adults cannot, or simply do not, remember how harsh and cruel other high school students can be. Sexual harassment is a way of life for both sexes. A high school male dreads the label "gay", a female the label "slut." For a high school student, these can be worse than a death sentence - these can be a living hell. Female students must put up with groping as a normal part of a day in high school, and males must put up with non-stop teasing on any of a million physical attributes.
So in between school work, the student must try to "be cool" while his or her parents seem to fight against it. The parents seem to be actively fighting against the student. Parents seem to disagree with everything. Home, once a refuge from the day, has become an open battleground. High school is a war fought in the home, each required family dinner a battle to be waged.
Meanwhile the student is trying to come to grips with who he or she is as a person. All their life the high school student has had choices made for him or her. High school brings with a freedom of the mind, but even more locked doors than before. Religion was a given before - the student's parents were of one religion, so it was assumed the student was, as well. Now, though, the student asks "Why?" The student sees a way of getting freedom - the parents might require church, but that does not mean the student has to believe. And, given a hard enough fight, church might not be required as well. The parents as enemies again.
So the student is left with a pessimistic view of life. Everyone is against the student. People seem to choose to be in the way of the student's new found freedom. Peers are enemies, parents are the jail guards, and teachers are simply reinforcing conformity. High school is nothing more than the world's way of integrating the high school student into society's rigidity.
The high school student sees this clearly, and is amazed when he or she is fought against by parents and other adult figures. How can they not understand? How do they not see?
Things do get better, I assure you. I have nothing to demonstrate this to you. You will simply have to take it as my word. Pretend I am you in ten or fifteen years, telling you just to hold on. When it comes down to it, that is the key to high school in the end - it is a simple test of survival. Just hold on.
I may not seem like I have any idea what it is like, and, as I said earlier, you might very well be right in that accusation. I can handle that. I think, though, that I might just understand a little more than most adults, no matter how little more, and I understand a little more than I often lead on.
Nice. (Score:1)
I had to get an ID so I could make obnoxious comments to your journal w/o being tagged "Anon. coward". Feel special.