If they picked your pocket, did you get "pickled"?

True, but that's partly because UPS and Fedex can't legally use the mailbox that I PAID FOR. Instead of driving down the street and shoving SSD's and Cat 5 cables into slots, they have to get out and walk to my apartment building, choose the right outer door (unlabeled), and wait for me to buzz them in. All of this for something that requires no proof of delivery.
Let them use the mailboxes, hand over letter carrying, and they'll do a fine job. Worried about QoS? Every UPS claim has always been paid by either them or the seller. I've never been compensated by USPS without buying optional insurance. UPS tracking covers every step, instead of "Your package has been received, and is guaranteed to be somewhere between you and the shipper." Worried about price escalation? Well, how much legitimate first class mail do you have to send anyway? I mail one letter a month. The spam:legit mail ratio I receive is 10-20:1.

Obviously it was the quickening. Someone get that kid a sword before the Kurgan finds her!

Am I missing something? When did the FCC gain juridictiction over net companies? They can certainly regulate telcos, but VoIP providers?

Not that it matters because the VoIP companies were already hashing out deals with the telcos (the real culprits who were holding e911 hostage with high fees to punish competitors). E911 is a good thing, but this seems like a stretch of the FCCs regulatory power. 1984, we get closer every day.