I'm sorry.

Check out Squeezebox Duet combo which consists of a Controller (Wifi remote control) and a Receiver (small black player box that can also connect via Wifi). The central library can be installed on a Windows/Linux box and the software is written in Perl and open source - heck, everything is Linux powered, remote control included.

I think that you can use a single remote to control multiple players and it might even be able to auto connect to the nearest player automatically (not sure, I only have one).

It isn't very sophisticated or slick (the remote doesn't have a nice feel, the wheel isn't very smooth), but it's cheap.

Sure, not exercising and participating in (dangerous) sports activities won't get you many injuries, now will it? /waiting for an operation for a fractured clavicle, cycling accident, BMI ~21 :)