Comment Help yourself... (Score 1) 943
I've been in IT for 20 something years now, and have one divorce to my credit. After that divorce, however, I found out that it was pretty much all my fault. A friend suggested I get some advice from www.DocLove.com and www.askmen.com/dating/doclove. I actually paid $99 for his book (when you can easily buy it used on eBay for half that price, or less) and it made a huge difference in my life.
Before reading his book, I was pretty much a man with no standards, no self respect, no self control, and was, in a word, boring. I thought the mark of a good relationship was avoiding fights, when in fact the mark is being able to effectively deal with the underlying problems that cause fights.
Now nearly 8 years later I am engaged to the most wonderful, honest, loyal, flexible, and plain *fun* woman I have ever met. I've even started giving advice to friends, who keep trying to convince me to start a business around giving guys advice.
My view is quite simply most men have the relationship skills of a 12 year old. They treat their wives/women like their mothers, and expect her to take care of them. Fact of the matter is that you have to be somewhat of a leader, a decision maker, and you have to provide your wife and family with quality time. "Quality" being the keyword there, not so much "time" as so many men would like to think. I am always amazed to hear of guys who spend 8 hours working, then 4-6 hours playing computer games or surfing the 'net when they get home, and then they wonder why their woman left them.
Likely, in my opinion, if your woman cheats or leaves, it was because of something you lacked. The *trick* is to LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES, something so few men do. :(
I do give out advice on a forum nowadays, but I'll be hard pressed to get slashdotted!
Before reading his book, I was pretty much a man with no standards, no self respect, no self control, and was, in a word, boring. I thought the mark of a good relationship was avoiding fights, when in fact the mark is being able to effectively deal with the underlying problems that cause fights.
Now nearly 8 years later I am engaged to the most wonderful, honest, loyal, flexible, and plain *fun* woman I have ever met. I've even started giving advice to friends, who keep trying to convince me to start a business around giving guys advice.
My view is quite simply most men have the relationship skills of a 12 year old. They treat their wives/women like their mothers, and expect her to take care of them. Fact of the matter is that you have to be somewhat of a leader, a decision maker, and you have to provide your wife and family with quality time. "Quality" being the keyword there, not so much "time" as so many men would like to think. I am always amazed to hear of guys who spend 8 hours working, then 4-6 hours playing computer games or surfing the 'net when they get home, and then they wonder why their woman left them.
Likely, in my opinion, if your woman cheats or leaves, it was because of something you lacked. The *trick* is to LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES, something so few men do.
I do give out advice on a forum nowadays, but I'll be hard pressed to get slashdotted!
