Last night I watched President Bush deliver the State of the Union address on CNN. At first, Normis (my life partner) and I were filled with an upwelling of patriotism. I agreed with everything The President had said. It was as though I had unknowingly harbored these thoughts all this time, and his beautiful delivery had only brought them to the surface.

Yes, I said, help solve AIDS in africa. Yes, I said, eliminate this double taxation of corporate dividens (I'm not exactly clear on this one but taxing anything twice sounds unfair). YES, I SAID, LET'S TURN BAGHDAD INTO A PARKING LOT!!!

Then something magical happened. Normis and I had one of those moments where no words were spoken (none were needed) but we both new what we had to do. I went and got that shoebox at the back of my closet, while Normis borrowed a cigarette lighter from the neighbor kids (the ones that just hang out on their balcony all day). We met, silently, in the cul-de-sac in front of our apartment building.

Then we dug into the shoebox of old M-80s, black cats, and roman candles that I had picked up on our last trip to Mexico. Our patriotism was in brilliant display as we lit up the cul-de-sac with explosions of american pride. This continued until, just as Normis started to belt out the third verse of "America The Beautiful", one of the neighbor kids accidentally hit Normis with a shot from their pellet gun! That's when we ran inside, with Normis screaming like a woman.

Boys will be boys, I suppose, but we sure got the last laugh. Those kids will never see their cigarette lighter again!!!