pythorlh's Journal: Cancer.

I'm not sure why I'm writing this. I'm not a terribly social person, and I doubt that really anyone out there cares. But I've noticed that I've gotten a few fans here. I'm not sure how... I don't post often enough for anyone to know who I am, but you're out there.
Anyway... I'm living tonight with the knowledge that I have a large growth on my thyroid gland. A fine needle biopsy produced an indeterminate result, and so surgery is required. From what I was able to see of the report, I have a "hurthle" cell thyroid growth. My endocrinologist (who I've met twice, now) told me that surgery was necessary. Even if it turns out benign, the size of the lump( dare I call it a tumor? is that bad luck?) would require surgery.
  I've been googling for information, and it doesn't look good. Thyroid cancers are generally treatable, but hurthle cell carcinomas are more aggressive. 35% chance of cancer. (I keep doing the numbers in my head. Can't get myself away from it.) Large tumors (mine is greater than 6cm) up the chances. 65%. Thyroid growths in men (women are more common) have a higher incidence of malignancy. I don't know how much... 66%? 90%?
I'm jumping the gun, here. It's a week before I'll meet my surgeon. Probably another two before I have to have the surgery. I shouldn't be thinking like this. But I can't help it.
    I keep thinking about my family. I have four children, all sons. Joshua is the oldest. He's 10 years old, and everyone says he's a carbon copy of me. I see it, but he's a lot more social than I ever was. Good for him. I've never had enough friends. Caleb is my second. He's a little trooper. He's just recently off crutches from his second hip surgery, at 9 years old. He has a disease (Legg-Perthes) that caused degeneration of his bones in his hip. Surgery is not really normal for the disease, but when his bones were growing back they did form the right shape. His doctor had to go in twice, now to correct the shape of his hip and thigh. He's always been active, and being on crutches, and confined to no activity is killing him, but he almost never complains. Seth is number three. He's 7, now. Quite a little fighter. Loves sports, loves video games (don't all kids these days?) He's very bright. I call my boys my "moons." They're not bright enough to be "suns," but it's not true. They're all above average intelligence, which I always wanted. David is the baby. Almost 4 years old, and way too smart and fast for me to keep up with. And addicted to Spiderman. :)

Nobody here knows me, but people who do don't envy me. I'm 29. (That's young for thyroid cancer. The average age is 55.) I've been married for 10 years, now. It'll be 11, October 15th. My wife is my one true love, but we've been seperated for 3 years. Right now, the greatest fear I have is that I will die, and my wife will still not love me. I'm pathetic.

I'm sorry. I've got to stop this. I can't write any more, right now. To anyone who reads this, Thank You. I've never had anyone I could really talk to, and maybe I still don't, but it almost seems like I do because I can write here in my journal. I suppose I have /. to thank for that.

Poor man.

[Theresa Bean]

I want you to know that at this very moment I am praying hard for you. You will go onto my list of people and things I pray for every day. I hope that the surgery goes well, nobody should die feeling as alone as you do.

I can't honestly say what to do about your wife, since I don't know the situation. But love your boys with all your being. Make sure they know they matter more than anything else in the world. Love is the most secure investment in the universe. Whatever you give, wil return to you th

Re:Poor man.

[pythorlh]

Thank you for your prayers. Can't claim that I share your faith, but it certainly can't hurt.
As for love... I do love my boys with all my heart. But I have always loved my wife more. She's put me through an awful lot of pain(Please don't take that to mean that I blame her for all of our problems... it's a two-way street.), but I can still say today that I love my wife more than anything else. More than life itself. Even more than my children. I often feel like I should be ashamed to say that, but e

Thanks.

[JobCenter]

For your help in putting the world in the proper perspective. I will also say a prayer for you; but you have already lit a candle to help others find the way.

The good news:

[daoine]

Thyroid cancer has a 98-99% cure rate (they rate on 10 year survival) If you *have* to a cancer, this is the one.

In fact, if you'd like, I can spout enormous amounts of thyroid cancer information. My boyfriend was diagnosed with it in January of this year (he's 28), had surgery in March. Due to the location of the cancerous tissue (it had left his thyroid and gone into his lymph nodes) he needed 6 weeks of radiation, followed by radioactive iodine. (which all occured from June until about 3 weeks ago)

Re:The good news:

[pythorlh]

I appreciate the news. It's about what I'd read, but it's always nice to be reminded. As far as my surgeon goes, I went with the one my endocrinologist suggested as the most experienced. And since he's out of Albany Medical Center(Albany, NY), I have no trouble believing that he's done a lot of these.

One thing I didn't mention above is that I also discovered lumps in another part of my body earlier this year. The urologist considered them nothing to worry about, but with this going on I think I'm goin

Re:The good news:

[daoine]

The wait is the worst. I gained 20 pounds, 50 gray hairs, and a whole lot of neuroses during the process. And it wasn't even my cancer! :)

Just take a deep breath and realize that you're going to survive this thing; even the worst case scenario has great odds. Chances are, you're not the worst case.