Comment revenge (Score 1) 375
Well here is Australia we have a similar problem, although thankfully I don't think they all use automatic machines like they do in the US. Fortunately my parents have kept their different surnames, so generally if they ask for "Mr and Mrs X", you know straight away who its going to be (either that or authority :-), so either way it's a good time to say "No" and hangup). Good tricks I've found can be:
1) "they were both killed in a car accident last week.... (pretend to be upset): who is this? you bastards" and then hang up. Not only do they feel really guilty (hey, it might even put them out of work due to emotional grounds), but guaranteed they won't call back
2) Ask them whether they know your first name (they won't)
3) Breathe heavily (that can freak them)
4) Ask _them_ whether they would be interested in buying your products (revenge!)
5) Use a large whistle and blow HARD (generally the phone system will top out the volume, but it doesn't sound too good with a headset).
6) Best of all if you have CallerId and they are stupid enough not to turn it off (often they work from home), call them between the hours of 12am and 6am and ask whether they want to buy your exciting range of ... [whatever they rang you about].
7) Read them back their phone number if you have CallerID: say you work at a telephone company, tell them its really easy to find out where they live from their number and say that you're coming around tonight to sort them out/disconnect their phone for misuse/etc (evil but fun).
8) Read them back a b.s. fake law (they won't go to the trouble of looking it up) and tell them that if they don't disconnect in the next 5 seconds they will be fined $xxxx dollars (in an authoritarian voice).
9) Burp into the phone and then hang up (almost as good as spitting on them, but obviously you can't do that)
1) "they were both killed in a car accident last week.... (pretend to be upset): who is this? you bastards" and then hang up. Not only do they feel really guilty (hey, it might even put them out of work due to emotional grounds), but guaranteed they won't call back
2) Ask them whether they know your first name (they won't)
3) Breathe heavily (that can freak them)
4) Ask _them_ whether they would be interested in buying your products (revenge!)
5) Use a large whistle and blow HARD (generally the phone system will top out the volume, but it doesn't sound too good with a headset).
6) Best of all if you have CallerId and they are stupid enough not to turn it off (often they work from home), call them between the hours of 12am and 6am and ask whether they want to buy your exciting range of
7) Read them back their phone number if you have CallerID: say you work at a telephone company, tell them its really easy to find out where they live from their number and say that you're coming around tonight to sort them out/disconnect their phone for misuse/etc (evil but fun).
8) Read them back a b.s. fake law (they won't go to the trouble of looking it up) and tell them that if they don't disconnect in the next 5 seconds they will be fined $xxxx dollars (in an authoritarian voice).
9) Burp into the phone and then hang up (almost as good as spitting on them, but obviously you can't do that)
