Police community support officers in Bolton will battle public drunkenness by handing out bubble-blowers on Saturday nights throughout December. It is hoped that the new program will channel over-boisterous behavior into harmless fun. A similar program that gave the intoxicated lollipops was tested earlier this year with some success. Not everyone is keen on the idea however. Matthew Elliott, chief executive of the Taxpayers' Alliance, said, "This is completely bonkers. People want the police fighting crime, not handing out nursery school gimmicks. If this money isn't needed it should be given back to taxpayers, not squandered." If we could start a program that took away keys at bars and handed out Big Wheels for drunks to take home we could prevent many traffic accidents.

Can you eat a seal?