Bah, 5 minutes, you are a lightweight. Remember you are running an infected vista machine. They do not boot in under 10 minutes, and when you tell them that your machine has been running slowly, they are eager to wait for you. Then another 10 minutes to "download" the file they want you to install - again my computer has been running slowly. Remember the tearing your hair out pain when trying to trouble shoot your mother in laws computer over the phone? Comes in useful, give it back to them, they will lap it up and think they are going to get somewhere.
To add to the amusement while you are "waiting" for your computer to boot, ask them where they are based. I got told my suburb, and when I pressed them on it they picked an area which was actually commercial.
All good fun if you have some time to kill.
The best part is when you tell them that you are running ubuntu, and they realised that the last hour they had through various was a waste of their time.