This explains why the Nazis weren't known for their grasp of the English language or their golf skills.

I'm just surprised they managed to find the CLIT.

I follow the Korean Starcraft leagues fairly closely and haven't seen anything indicating that this is a problem for them. There's only one major pro league left if you ignore the most successful leagues. Unlike my impressions of MLG and their ilk, which seem like slapped-together attempts to occupy a novelty niche, these leagues have survived for the same reasons all other sports leagues have survived: the focus is always on using the games to generate stories which even non-players can sink their teeth into. Without giving their audience a reason to watch, other than being interested in a particular game at a particular time, the other leagues doomed themselves long ago. As with many other businesses, blaming their deaths on the economy is like blaming a cold for killing an AIDS patient.

I, fo one, welcome ou new censoing ovelods.

That's a very different example. First off, "30 degrees" doesn't mean much to a toddler, so they're dealing with a subjective measurement and a resulting suggested action. So if my "girlfriend" (really, slashdot?) told me it was chilly out, I'd step outside to check if she's just being a pussy. I'd also check what the weather's like--if there's still sun out, if it's windy, if it looks like it'll be snowing later--and then dress accordingly. The point of the learning process is gaining the ability to figure out, in this case, what appropriate clothing would be, rather than simply take someone else's word for it. At the same time, you learn what someone else means when they say "it's chilly" or "it's 30 degrees." The anecdote doesn't so much imply underdeveloped cognitive abilities as it implies hard-wiring to learn from personal experience over social cues.

I really wanted to link to The Onion's "Study Reveals: Babies Are Stupid," but this is a far more critical and analytic approach to problems than most people tend to use. Blindly following rules is a horrible way to learn about anything. The best learners, in my experience, take advice into consideration, then try to see if it's good advice, and discover why or why not. Applied to the example from the summary, the kid who thinks "is it really that cold outside? Yes it is, I'll go get my coat" is going to turn out a lot better than the kid who goes straight for the coat, especially at times when the authority figures are wrong.

This is exactly why I only listen to child molesters.

I'll read your "history book" when you watch my "documentary."

It's more than that. While "lower air pollution equals longer life" is a safe assumption at this point, "A decrease in air pollution amounting to 10 micrograms per cubic meter of of (sic) particulates in the air led to an additional .61 years of life" is not so obvious, nor is it even obvious how direct or significant the correlation would be.

It's not often that I feel genuinely sorry for people who perform invasions of privacy. What's next? Having to read through YouTube comments? One of the glaring, non-ethical problems with Big Brother-esque surveillance is that total voyeurism just isn't as interesting as it sounds.

I'm pretty sure the writer for that just won a bar bet with his friends.

"Adamo was created to elicit desire and redefine the image of power."
-Are we talking about a penis here?

"Once you hold it, you won't want to put it down."
-Yup, definitely a penis.

"People will stare and that's OK."
-I do what I can for the world.

"Because with this ultra-thin, portable aphrodisiac at your side, lack of attention won't be a problem."
-Wait... ultra-thin? Staring is no longer OK. =(

"The whole product just feels very solid."
-Now we're talking. I'll just let that last remark slide.

"We wanted to make sure the product appealed equally to women and men."
-...

"Adamo resulted from the union of technology with pleasure...."

A laptop is not the first thing I thought of when seeing that phrase. Not that sort of laptop, at least.

Yah, but if the only tool you know how to use is a laser and every problem looks like a space alien, then fuck it, man, I'm on board.

Like, all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light, bad.

I read it without the comma, as in "Oklahoma Vatican..."

The Vatican: now with a convenient location near you!