I've taken great delight in using 5 of the options in the past. I haven't talked dirty to the telemarketer...but when I kept getting mortgage refi calls I started by telling the telemarketer "Boy your boss doesn't give a rip about you...you need to get a new job because your employer just doesn't care." In the silence that ensued, I'd explain (truthfully, mind you) that the mortgage (a) had been the previous owner's, not mine, I could tell because I'm not a veteran, and (b) I'd paid off the mortgage 8 years previously. So the employer was feeding the poor telemarketer schmuck contact lists at least 8 years old; how would said schmuck ever make any money with this job? But I have called them back on their own number (very entertaining). And it's also fun to "answer" but just put the receiver down, and see how long their dialer will wait for me to speak before it hangs up. Lately though I'm mostly a "don't answer" or "answer but hang up before they even start" consumer.