"'Little Bobby Tables', we call him..."

"We'll have the installers right out."

"What installers?"

"The installers have to remove your carpet and re-lay it with our special layer underneath which tracks your footsteps. It's for your safety, and to ensure you're only using your vacuum on approved parts of the floor."

"But......"

"As a disclaimer, some customers have reported getting locked out of their houses because they weigh too much, or walk into an unapproved room."

-click-

"Hello, I'd like to order the new OuyaRoomba."

So who sponsored the amendment?

The bill itself, sponsored by a Democrat, specifically forbids companies from forcing employees to allow access to their social media accounts. The amendment created an exception. An earlier commenter mentioned that the amendment was proposed by somebody with a big (R) next to his name...

Admittedly, halfway through, I went from Morgan Freeman to Anthony Hopkins. "Thpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthpthp."

Exactly! So they should go get an iPad!

....Wait. Shit!

I had a hard time finding the entertainment value in this until somebody mentioned Bill Cosby in another post somewhere. Now all I can hear is "Va uvf glcvpny snfuvba Jello Puddin Paaps!" It has made today fairly more tolerable.

I took it as a nostalgia piece, and actually found it to be a welcome relief from all of the other April Fools things.

That's actually a perfect example. When the power goes out, the rooftop generators kick on and everything continues.

When your business relies entirely on services provided by other parties, you're just asking to be marginalized. If something in some remote datacenter causes your virtual host to completely disappear, you don't have a guy to jog down the hall and see what's up. All you have is a phone call to customer support.

Pascal's Wager doesn't work. If you believe in something because you're hedging your bets, that isn't true belief, and is therefore not faith, and you will go to hell. I would rather not define my life and morals by directly contradicting my own observations.

But more importantly, it responds properly to a well placed and timed pitch-nudge applied via middle and index fingers, or a gentle drag on the platter in transition.

This is exactly why I would prefer this device over a Vita.

I already don't steal music.

Higgs'.

Sounds like what you're looking for is... BSD.