Earlier this morning, 80 Nigerian Princes were tragically killed in a plane accident while being extradited to the United States to face fraud charges. Each of them has left behind their widowed wives who will each inherit their late husband's fortunes (each estimated to be worth 33 million USD) It is unclear what the widowed wives will do with their newly inherited fortunes, but will have to act with UTMOST URGENCY as they are all geriatric and suffer from incurable cancer.
It is expected that a fortunate few 'next of kin' are located in the US and will probably be contacted to inherit their portion, but only after having the proper papers filed with the Nigerian Fund Reimbursement Commitee on Fraudently Ill-Willed Gained Funds - (NFRCFIGF) currently located in the UK Lottery Headquarters in Paris, France.
If the next of kin are not located, the wives have proposed soliciting charitable individuals who will help to disperse these funds by spreading God's word through a charity of their choosing. They will also have to file the appropriate papers to establish their charity status. Fortunately, as they are unable to accept USD for payment for processing said paperwork, they have offered to graciously accept iTunes gift cards (easily purchased at CVS or Walgreens) or via 1 Bitcoin to 89TRFE3A3GH127GGT666FF331. The Honorable Solicitor In Charge - Rachel (from CardServices) will be handling the transactions and will include a free stay at a Marriott of your choice with transportation provided by Carnival Cruises.
Additionally, two of the wives are young Russian lesbian models who are interested in establishing a hetero (or bi) relationship with a bald, fat, basement dwelling, Xbox pro, (sorry PS4 users) american man! Applications are being solicited via email, so if your one of the very few lucky men in America who might fit that description, be on lookout for your special invite!
Authorities also caution that with events such as this tragic plane crash, fraudsters are going to be rampant!
MicroSoft Technical Support will reach out to anyone who may be affected as their computers will be infecting the Internet with viruses - so, if you get a call, ensure you cooperate with them in fixing your system! Now, back to your local weather - with Skip Taylor!