I agree that the minds are playful, emotional, moral (and often likeable) beings. I would not attribute any sort of malice to them (as a whole, at least). I kind of thought though that the point though was that what you say appears to be true (and, again I don't doubt that Banks' Culture would be a most pleasant place to live), but that, really, underneath it all, the minds love the humans in the same way as a human loves a dog. Many humans would lay down their lives for dogs, but dogs really have no control over their own existence. In a more exaggerated way, a human can do anything it wants in the Culture, but in the end, has no real 'control'. In a similar way to how a dog could not hope to change social policy, for example, decisions made by minds can change things, decisions made by humans can not. Banks skilfully portrays this without actually noting this point at-all, except in passing (the most obvious examples are things like extreme sports where there's actually no risk because a mind will save you if you do anything life-threatening, but I'm pretty sure there's more subtle stuff in there too ).
I also thought, although I'd be less forthright about defending this, that humans (and AIs like drones) were not allowed to know everything in the society, and there was the undercurrent of control - that the Culture was not really the free-wheeling anarchistic society the humans living in it perceived it to be (most had no idea of the existence of Special Cuircumstances, for example).
Maybe I need to read the books again - it's been few years.